My Little Sanctuary

Thoughts of an Insomniac

2011-02-27T10:04:00.001+04:00

Every single night, my dreams take me to places I wish I can be at, and brings me with people I wish I can be with. We chat, play, laugh, and do lots of things together. But when I open my eyes, to find out that it was just a dream, I get all depressed and melancholic.
Maybe that's why I don't feel like sleeping anymore?

On a side note, I should stop acting like a drama queen, and do something about it!

Longing to Belong

2011-02-20T15:33:00.002+04:00

According to one contemporary viewpoint, all human beings need a certain minimum quantity of regular, satisfying, social interactions. Inability to meet this need results in loneliness, mental distress, and a strong desire to form new relationships.

I just don't belong here..

Pear and Anise Muffins, and Anise Biscuits

2011-02-15T21:28:00.002+04:00

I love to try anything that has anise because I enjoy its flavor. These are two recipes that contain anise that I've tried recently.

Pear and Anise Muffins

Ingredients:
1 medium can pears (around 400g)
2 cups flour
1/3 cups finely chopped almonds
2 tsp grated lemon rind
2 tsp ground anise
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup vegetable oil
2/3 cup sour cream or buttermilk (can be substituted with yogurt, milk, or a mixture of both)

Method:
Heat the oven to 180 degrees Celsius.
Drain the pears (catching the juice) and cut into small pieces. Carefully mix the flour with the baking powder, baking soda, ground anise, almonds, and chopped pears.

Lightly beat the eggs in a bowl with the vanilla and lemon rind. Add the sugar, oil, sour cream and 80 ml pear juice and mix well. Add the dry ingredients to the egg mixture and mix just long enough to moisten the dry ingredients.

Butter the muffin tin or place a paper baking case in each cup. Spoon the mixture into the tin or the paper cases.

Bake on the middle shelf of the oven for about 20 minutes or until a wooden toothpick comes out clean. Take out of the oven, leave the muffins in the tin for a further 5 minutes, then take out and cool.

You can cover them with cream cheese frosting or just leave them without any decoration.

Anise Biscuits

Ingredients:
3/4 cup oil
2 eggs
1 cup icing sugar
2 tbsp anise seeds
1 tsp ground anise
1 tsp baking powder
3 1/2 cups flour ( you may not need all the quantity , so add little by little until you can work with the dough)

Mix all the ingredients, roll out the dough between two pieces of baking paper, cut into shapes, and bake in a preheated oven until light gold. Let cool. Enjoy!

When the Arabs come out of Hibernation

2011-02-07T17:40:00.001+04:00

Our eyes have been directed with anxiety and hope towards Egypt for the past days, like they were directed towards Tunis before. Being proud of what the guys are doing over there is something beyond description. We've never thought that a day will come for us to witness something like this happening in an Arab country to make us feel "proud" of being "Arabs". We've always looked at ourselves as failures, not able to do anything useful for our nations and countries, not able to make any good change whatsoever, simply because we are afraid of saying NO . Now after decades of living under tyranny, oppression and injustice, "the youth" have finally decided that it's time for a CHANGE, a big one! And this time it's for them, the youth, to choose how and in what way this change is going to happen. It's up to them now to choose the lives they want to lead, the way they want to be treated, as humans that is, to break the chains they've been bound in forever. It's about time to smell liberty and fill their lungs with the breath of freedom!

We stood up for this revolution, we embraced it. It was like, deep inside, we've been longing for such a thing to happen since a long time. It's like, these guys, at Tahrir Square are speaking the mind of each one of us. They are representing us, and we are supporting them with all our mights, with our hearts, and prayers, trying our best to back them up against dictatorship, if not by being with them, which is something that many of us sincerely wish they can do, then through the internet and the social networks that are, undoubtedly, playing an important role in this glorious revolution.

Bouazizi was the sparkle that triggered the revolution in Tunis, that spread afterward to other countries, mainly Egypt. While the Tunisian revolution ended up with the fleeing of the dictator to Saudi Arabia, the Egyptian Pharaoh, who has led Egypt for 30 years, will stay until September. Turning a deaf ear to the voices of his people and his allies that are asking him to step down, Mubarak is determined not to quit, causing more chaos and more bloodshed. More than 300 killed, thousands injured, hundreds captivated and tortured since the beginning of this revolution on the 25 of January 2011, revealing to the word the indescribable brutality of this corrupt regime.The regime that payed its thugs to attack and kill its own people who are there merely asking for their simplest rights in the most peaceful and civilized manner.

Despite all that, the Egyptian people, young and old, men and women, Muslims and Christians, stand united in the face of tyranny, fighting all attempts to kill their revolution, just to make us more proud.

Tunisians and the Egyptians have taught the dictators a big lesson, we need more honorable and brave people like these so that all the corrupt regimes in our countries collapse one after another.

Good Old Blogging Days

2011-02-02T15:35:00.008+04:00

Being here feels like visiting a deserted childhood home.. where each room, each corner holds a memory... Puffing the dust off the old posts brings back lots of memories... and with them smiles and sighs... Seems like I used to put much of "me" into this blog. This place was my diary, my space, the "sanctuary" I used to resort to to mumble whatever comes to my mind, as the title of my blog points out.*

I started blogging in December 2005. This blog is five years old? I'm SHOCKED! thanks to my friend Raeef who introduced me to the blogging world. I loved the idea of blogging, of having a space to share one's thoughts , to vent or maybe just ramble or mumble, and to meet great bloggers some of which has became friends.

I think that it was an awesome initiative (taken by Abed andRasha) to bring us, the old bloggers, back together. The idea, to me, was quite motivating and encouraging to get back to blogging after being away for quite a while. I've been wanting to blog for sometime and just needed this push. It, apparently, took me some time eh? :D

*(Speaking about titles, I changed the title of my blog twice before. First it was Tulip, since I was fond of tulips (and still) at the time I started blogging. Then I changed it to Rainbow Drops before someone pointed out that the title suggests that it's a "gays" blog since gays use the rainbow as their symbol. OOoops! I changed the title right away :D)

Zeeroteen and Oneteen

2011-01-29T16:30:00.003+04:00

So Kareem already identifies the numbers from zero to ten, but after teaching him the numbers eleven to twenty, 10 becomes zeeroteen not to mention that 11 is oneteen!

بدّي أفرح بشبابي

2010-12-12T17:37:00.000+04:00

Kareem came to me once and said:" Mama, bedi afra7 bi shababi".

I was like, HUH??? Come again please! What have you just said???? o_O

Kareem: "bedi afra7 bi shababi!"

My God! What I heard was clear, no way to be mistaken, bedo yefra7 bi shababo??

I cracked up before remembering that it's that song on toyor el jannah that he used to watch in Jordan!

But for God's sake, among all the songs that he knows, why on earth did he choose this sentence in particular??

I still laugh my heart out every time I recall this incident.

Cookies

2010-12-12T17:18:00.000+04:00

Kareem went to the kitchen and found me cutting biscotti logs. He asked: "Mom, what are you doing?" I said:" preparing cookies". He opened his eyes in disbelief and started crying. "I want to make cookies, I want to make cookies with youuuuu." He was sooooo mad, sad, and disappointed. I couldn't stand the looks in his eyes, and the tears, as if he was trying to say: HOW COULD YOU? HOW COULD YOU BAKE COOKIES WITHOUT ME!! THIS IS BETRAYAL, BACKSTABBING!!

Actually he's used to prepare cookies with me, cutting and decorating, he enjoys it. He couldn't believe that this time it wasn't the ordinary cookies that we usually prepare together.

I felt guilty, calmed him down and gave him a piece of biscotti to cut. He started cutting and eating, with tears still falling from his eyes, he said: Hmmmm, LATHEETHAH.

He drew a smile on my face, and his. :)

بهدوووووء

2010-09-21T22:35:00.000+04:00

Kareem was playing today, preteding, and talking to his toys when I suddenly heard him saying: bi hodoo2

Huh? bi hodoo2? Never mind, I thought to myself, I must have misheard him. But he repeated it, bi hodoo2. Then I burst out laughing, wak ya maf3oos, where do u get such expressions from? bi hodoo2 2oltelli?

So, here's another word added to his "fos7a" dictionary. However, the most common fos7a word that Kareem uses is فقاعات (bubbles). He loves to see foqa3at, and to blow foqa3at, and to listen to the foqa3at song on Bara3m channel. And when he sees bubbles anywhere, especially at Early Learning Center, he gets all excited and starts screaming foqa3aaaaaaaaaat foqa3aaaat. I, myself, am not familiar with this term, 2al foqa3at 2al.

Good Boy

2010-09-16T21:32:00.000+04:00

I was working on some tracing sheets with Kareem, and while explaining to him how he's supposed to hold the pencil and join the dots I said: hek, emshi 3al 5a6! So he stood up and literally walked on the paper. Meshi 3al 5a6, lol

Kareem turns Two

2010-07-08T17:22:00.000+04:00

Kareem is growing and so is my love for him :)

My sweet boy will turn two in 4 days! July, 12, 2010 (but we actually had a party last month before he left the nursery :)

He speaks very well mashallah compared to his age.
He can count to 10 in both Arabic and English, knows a few colors and shapes, and can sing many nursery rhymes and children's songs in both languages.
His favorite show and favorite character ever is Barney. He also likes Dora, Obi, and Thomas, but Barney is number one.
His favorite dish is stuffed vine leaves. He eats it with passion actually, No wonder! :D He also, like most toddlers his age, likes rice with yogurt (loz laban), and french fries with sabbab (Ketchup).
He has many friends, they all love him, and he's the favorite of many of them.
They describe him at the nursery as the "classy" boy. Yeah right! See how classy he is at home, haha
I love to spend sometime watching him, do nothing but watch him, while playing, eating, sleeping... my most precious moments :)
I love his smell, even when he stinks :D
I love his smile, his laugh, his voice..
I love his eyes, especially when he laughs, I love his tiny mouth and nose, his cheeks are so edible and so are his toes, I so want to eat him alive!
I love how he runs to hug me
I love it when he kisses me saying 7abeebi mama, and when sympathizes with me and insists to kiss el wawa if he saw a tiny cut or sth. on my skin.
I love it when he starts singing spontaneously while playing and then hides his face with his hands when he discovers that we're listening to and watching him.
I love it when he's in a good mood and asks us to play some music so that he can dance :D
I like (and hate at the same time) how independent he is! He chooses what he wants to eat,and recently what he wants to wear, what he wants to watch or listen to, and where to go!
I like how clean he is, his hands have to always be clean even if he hasn't finished eating yet.
I love it when he learns and says a new word.
and I can go on and on...

Still, I hate how clingy he is sometimes and refuses to leave me even for five minutes.
I hate it when he gets sick
I hate it when he's moody and fussy and all my attempts to please him fail
I hate it when I lose my temper and yell at him or even adroboh diddeh on his hand
I hate that he learnt at the nursery to be possessive, and refuses sometimes to let anyone touch his things shouting: ELE (it's mine).

Katkotati, I can't really express how precious you are to me and how much I love you. May God protect you and keep you healthy and safe.
Happy birthday darling! Many many happy returns of the day, FA3ESSSSSSSSSSSSS

Khalto Diana

2010-06-24T16:47:00.000+04:00

Guess what Kareem is calling me these days.
Khaltoo Dianaaaaaaaaaa, khalto Dianaaaaaaaaaa
He heard his cousins calling me that, so he liked the idea :D
Kareem is almost two years old now.
Am I back to blogging? Well, I hope so but I can't promise. I miss this place so much.

beeb beeeeeeb

2009-12-05T22:03:00.000+04:00

As I mentioned before Kareem was sick for a while and I was extremely worried about his complete loss of appetite. He used to refuse any kind of food even the things that he usually likes and heartily eats. I tried different methods and different kinds of food to encourage him to eat, but in vain. He lost weight of course and the doctor said that everything will be OK soon so there's no need to worry. I couldn't of course but remain worried.
The other day, I was so desperate that I decided to buy him a doughnut, I wanted him to eat, anything, healthy or not, el mohem yakol, ay shi. And I thought that a doughnut would be tempting enough for him to take a bite or two. When I handed it to him, he took it, (OK that's a good sign since he refused even to hold the food back then , there is hope that he may give it a try, and then he will like it and eat it all, and I'll be very happy and this will make my day... and everyone will live happily ever after :p)
All these thoughts ran through my head like a flash while Kareem was examining the doughnut, and we were waiting eagerly for him to start eating, yalla.. bismillah.. but instead of putting it in his mouth he started turning it left and right, like a steering wheel, saying: beeb beeeeeeb

What Scares Kareemo

2009-12-05T08:04:00.000+04:00

We took Kareem for his "second" haircut yesterday. And for the second time, he cried his eyes out. A boy just his age did a haircut before him and didn't cry at all. He was busy watching barney. Although Kareem LOVES barney and was dancing and enjoying the show while waiting for his turn, he couldn't sit still and all the attempts to distract him and convince him to relax and watch barney went in vain.
Did I mention that the first time I felt that Kareem needs a haircut I did the haircut myself? :D w 3ainkon ma tshoof sho kanat el nateejeh, HILARIOUS :D.. literally zigzag cause he kept moving his head. Yeah, I'm blaming it all on him, 3ala asas I'm a good hairdresser :D bas tab3an 7arramet.

Kareem is also scared of the sound of the vaccum cleaner and of shower heads, he never allows me to give him a bath using a shower, so I use a bucket :S and everytime I try to use the shower head which is more practical and easier to manage he starts screaming and trembling. I don't know what to do about it!

Biddi

2009-11-30T23:57:00.000+04:00

Kareem has learnt the word biddi and it became the most frequent word that he uses these days.
Mama, biddi may (water), biddi byebye, biddi beeb beeb, biddi baba, biddi bish (potato chips), biddi koko (biscuits), biddi, biddi, biddi...

Random Thoughts

2009-11-30T22:48:00.000+04:00

I feel so sorry and guilty for neglecting this blog. But what can I do? I have no time AT ALL to update it :(. However, I posted something here that included some updates about Kareem.
Anyway...
-Kareem is sick, he's been sick since a while actually. Cold and fever every couple of weeks. I know it's normal, and it happens to all children, but I hate to see him weak and cranky. And I'm worried about his loss of appetite.
-He talks a lot :D (Of course we understand a word or two) and repeats anything he hears. He is sooo CUTE mashAllah. I can barely stop myself from biting him.
-He's been a very peaceful and ahbal baby, and I was worried about that cause he never shows any attempt to defend himself whenever another baby attacks him or does anything wrong to him. Until out of a sudden, there was a HUGE change, he not only knows how to defend himself now, but he's the one who starts the fight sometimes :S
As much as I wanted him to stop being ahbal and learn how to defend himself, I don't feel comfortable about the whole matter anymore because he kind of zawadha. He's saying (and doing) too much "diddi" these days, even to us, me and his father. And I don't know what to do about it! I've been told to totally ignore him and things will get better by themselves. But I just can't, I need something faster and more efficient.
Struggling with behavior and displine already, eh? :D

Midnight Blabbering

2009-08-29T00:37:00.005+04:00

Kareem is thirteen months old now. I intended to post something on the blog on his first birthday, to talk much about him, about me, about us.. about the past year.. but I couldn't, I was internetless then..
Anyway, while I'm supposed to be deeply asleep now, I find myself blabbering here... I missed this place, I miss so many things in my life.. and most importantly I miss me, myself, my old self.. I fail to recognize who I am anymore.. I fail to have this connection with my inner self ..
Is it only me, or being a wife/mother is really a tough job?? I mean I see other mothers who don't seem to be having a hard time in doing their jobs, Allahoma la 7asad, and seem to be enjoying their lives, finding time to go out, to watch TV, to spend a couple of hours online, chatting or whatever.. in addition to many other things.. Why don't I have time to do that?? Is it something wrong with me or with organizing my life or what is the problem exactly? Why don't I have time to watch TV for example ? Nefsi a7darli shi movie aw shi mosalsal, lol, I only watch snippets. I miss reading, I got this new book, and believe it or not, I read the first page like ten times, you know why? because everytime I start reading ,something happens , el tabkha, el walad, ma ba3ref sho..., and I leave the book, come back later, start all over again, then leave it, start again, and so on... Eventually I gave up and threw it among the other books. And this small incident made me feel bad and made me feel pity for myself.
Not that I'm not enjoying being a mom and a wife, I mean Kareem and his father mean the world to me and I love them so much and can't imagine my life without them, but it's just one of those times when I feel that I'm totally exhausted and drained and need a break. I was counting on the vacation to have some rest, but the vacation is over, back to school tomorrow, and Mr. Rest hasn't arrived yet :D
We had to move to a new place and stuff, so we spent the vacation here in Dubai. Not going to Lebanon, and not seeing my mom, who misses Kareem terribly, is also something that makes me feel bad.
Anyway, Kareem is a walker now, he starts walking like a couple of weeks ago, and he's enjoying it :D runnig around the house all day long... Seeing him walking was so heartwarming, my little man is growing fast..
His babbling is really funny, I wish I can know what exactly he's trying to say :D But of course he says some recognizable words like: mama, baba, may (water), num(food), batta(duck), babeh(tabeh=ball), yayeh(jajeh=chicken), bye, ayo (alo), ban (laban=yogurt), ban can also stand for baloon :D, bayi (barney, his favorite show), and guess what? he calls his father Ammaaaaay :D He hears me calling him Ammar Ammar, so he now calls him Ammay instead of baba :D
OK, that made me feel better, I guess I must go get some sleep now. My sleep debt is growing bigger :S
Have a blessed Ramadan everyone! :)

Hello there!

2009-06-07T14:48:00.004+04:00

I feel bad for not updating this blog since a long while, for not writing about Kareem's first tooth, the first time he crawled, the first time he stood, his first days at the daycare, the first time he waved goodbye, the first time he clapped his hands, the first time he said mama and baba. I really feel so sorry for missing all these and other chances and not updating Kareem's blog regularly, but at the same time, I can't blame myself because I've been, and still, reeeeeeally busy and I have neither the time nor the peace of mind to write about anything or to even touch the computer sometimes.
As many of you know, I started a new job three months ago, yes I'm back to teaching, and no time for anything, just the job, the house, and Kareem. but elhamdulillah, despite the exhaustion, I feel much better, way better than being a stay-at-home wife and mother. Even Kareem has changed a lot since ever he started going to the daycare (which happens to be in the same school I work at) and seeing other babies and toddlers. He became more sociable and more happy. He used to be very shy and very scared of people.
Anyway, two more weeks and we'll take our summer vacation, still haven't decided whether we'll go to Lebanon and/or Jordan yet, what's important is that I need this vacation soooo badly.
I hope I can have more time to blog again, and to read your blogs, missed those days..
that's it for now, just thought of dropping a few lines to let you know that I'm still alive :D

Barefoot Kareem

2009-02-02T22:57:00.000+04:00

It's been ages since I last wrote anything here!
Anyway, Kareem now enjoys playing with his feet. No more shoes for him cause he takes them off :D. He even takes his socks off!! The other day a man called us at the supermarket, he was saying something and pointing at the floor, we looked to find out that Kareem threw his socks there, lol

Lately, he not only plays with his feet, he puts them in his mouth and starts sucking his toes, hahaha, and he looks so cute when doing so :D

Realization

2009-01-30T01:30:00.002+04:00

Q:When do you realize that you are really nervous?
A:When you brush your teeth so vigorously until your gum bleeds.

Back to School

2009-01-27T12:40:00.011+04:00

Gazan Mothers, My Heart Goes Out to You

2009-01-15T00:20:00.000+04:00

I was expecting visitors on that day.. I was alone, busy, cleaning, preparing food, and baking some sweets... moving from a room to another, and of course having Kareem with me wherever I go.. I went to the living room, carrying my baby in his carrycot, when suddenly the handle of the carrycot was unlocked and Kareem was there... lying on the floor...screaming like crazy...

I couldn't believe that this was really happening... I must be dreaming... it must be the worst nightmare ever!

I rushed to hold him... to check whether he was hurt or not... I could see nothing, no bruises, no blood, but he was crying so hard. My heart almost stopped. I was shaking all over, my tears were falling down my face... and I could barely speak when I called my husband asking him to come home IMMEDIATELY. I was in Abu Dhabi, and he in Dubai, and I wanted him to come immediately, lol
He tried to calm me down so that he can understand what happened, meanwhile Kareem was starting to calm down in his turn until his crying stopped. Minutes later he started acting normally, but I was not, was still worried, overwhelmed with grief, anxiety, pain and guilt, kissing and hugging him passionately, and repeating to myself, I will never forgive myself, I will never forgive myself, it's all my fault, I will never forgive myself
Back to my senses, I found myself soaking wet. Kareem was staring at me in surprise maybe wondering why was I crying. I made a phone call apologizing to the guests that I won't be able to receive them. To make the story short, when Ammar came home, we took Kareem to the doctor who assured us that there was nothing wrong with him, thank God. But still, I will never forgive myself .

This happened like a month ago, and every time I try to blog about it, I get so emotional, delete what I typed and abandon the whole idea.

The emotional impact of this incident was so overwhelming. It is so hard for a mother to see her baby hurt, not even a bit, or to hear him crying in pain.

Now watching what's going on in Gaza, the 315+ children who were killed, and the hundreds or thousands others who were badly injured, burned, or lost their limbs, I can't really imagine how would their mothers be feeling now. I just can't! If I went through all this torture when my baby fell and wasn't a bit hurt, what are these mothers going through now????
I'm all out of words!

The Sleepless Mom

2009-01-03T22:34:00.001+04:00

So, finally Kareem fell asleep.. and as it is the case every night, I take advantage of being alone and free at last to have some "me" time before he wakes up again. By "me" time I definitely don't mean going shopping or going out with friends or relax or watch a movie or maybe read a book or something, as I used to do before, my me time these days is no more than check mail, send a message, make a phone call, or take a quick peek at my favorite websites, not to mention enjoying a cup of hot cocoa or ice-cream or any other guilty pleasure. I actually cherish this time when I am finally all alone, when I can do what I previously mentioned without having to be in a hurry...
*sigh*

So, instead of heading directly to bed to get some sleep after a hectic day, I find myself seduced by a state of silence and solitude to stay awake and enjoy it as it lasts.
Every morning, when I wake up so tired and sleepy, because Kareem wakes up like every hour or two at night, I blame myself for staying awake after my baby sleeps and decide that I'll never do it again and I better have some mercy and get myself some sleep cause in my case, every minute of sleep counts! And here I am, can't overcome the temptation of having some time for myself, and can't fall asleep despite the severe sleep deprivation I am suffering from. I don't remember when was the last time I had a good night's sleep. I've been sleep deprived since I was pregnant, so it's been more than a year now.... Sometimes, I feel lucky that I still remember my own name, LOL!! Seriously, I'm losing it! Can't function or focus, can't concentrate on anything. And guess what?? I'm looking for a job! Isn't that funny! :D

I'll talk about the job thingie later, and why I am looking for a job, but now, what was I talking about?? Oh yes, the sleeplessness, I need to find a solution sooo badly. Remember when I let Kareem cry himself to sleep? I felt so guilty afterwards and decided never to do it again no matter what, and completely abandoned the whole idea of letting my baby cry it out. So I searched and searched and read so many articles about this problem until I came across this book, The No Cry Sleep Solution, read it and just started following the instructions. Now I have my fingers crossed hoping that this plan will work and I finally get some sleep and start functioning like a normal human being again, lol .

Starting Solids

2008-11-19T12:13:00.000+04:00

Although it is advised not to give solid foods to babies under 6 months, I believe that some can be ready to move beyond milk-only nourishment at 4 or 5 months, depending on some signs of course.
I was planning to introduce solids to Kareem when he turns 4 months and see whether he's ready or not. The other day I was eating a banana and Kareem was looking at me when I suddenly thought, ok well, why not give it a try NOW :D so I mashed a little piece of the banana, about one tablespoon, and put a small amount in Kareem's mouth. At first he looked curious, as if trying to discover the new taste and texture, then he got excited and gave me signs that he liked it and wanted MORE, lol. The next day I got him rice cereal and I've been feeding him about one tablespoon a day and will increase the amount gradually. So, Kareem is ready and absolutely loves this new experience.

My New AddictionS

2008-11-19T11:56:00.004+04:00

Crunchy peanut butter and strawberry jam.

Tea biscuits with tea, coffee or milk. This addiction actually started when I was pregnant, like the many other things that I couldn't find an explanation to, I so craved biscuits with milk to the extent that instead of just dipping the biscuits into milk, I used to fill the milk mug with biscuits until smooth and eat it with a spoon, heaven! :D

Four Months

2008-11-12T02:20:00.000+04:00

Kareem has turned four months old today. He now recognizes his mom and dad. He goos and coos and laughs out loud. He keeps watching his hands, playing with them and of course sucking them, sometimes both of them at the same time :D . He has just started reaching for objects and clasps his hands around them. Yesterday he was fascinated by the colors of Quality Street chocolates and was urged to snatch a piece and put it in his mouth!
Kareem now rolls over, one way, so I can't leave him unattended anymore. He loved it when he rolled over for the first time and got all excited. He LOVES to sit up, supported of course, enjoys and prefers the sitting position to lying down. He also enjoys his everyday walk with mom and dad.
Kareem is not a sociable baby anymore! He got used to being alone with mommy all the time and doesn't like it when we have guests or go for a visit, he gets fussy especially when he finds himself surrounded by strangers who want to take a look or take pictures.
Mommy is thinking of introducing solid food to Kareem sometime soon to see whether he's ready to have solids or not yet. For some reason, she thinks that he is.
Mommy says that Kareemo is a good boy, although he gives her some hard time sometimes. She keeps ef3asing him and eshfoting his cheeks! :D My precious little angel, happy four month birthday! God bless and protect you. Love you, love you, love you, love youuuuuuuuu

He Cried Himself to Sleep

2008-11-11T10:55:00.000+04:00

So, since ever we came to this country, Kareem's sleeping habits have changed. Instead of getting better, they got worse! Why? Because he got used that whenever he wakes up at night, I rush to pick him up so that he doesn't cry and wake his daddy up. So instead of waking up one time at night as he used to do before, he now wakes up like every couple of hours, just like newborns!! This is making me really exhausted and sleepy all the day, and it's all my fault.

Last night he woke up three times, and in the forth time he didn' t want to go back to sleep. I tried for more than an hour to put him to sleep, and the moment I put him in his bed thinking that he finally fell asleep he feels that he's not with me anymore, wakes up and starts crying wanting me to pick him up again. Until I got really mad and thought to myself, Kareem is four months old now, isn't it time for sleep training? I think it is, and I'm gonna act immediately! So, I left the room, where Kareem was just about to start nagging and protesting, and went to check out some online articles that I've read before about baby sleep training. I had to reassure myself that what I was about to do was right. I have to teach him healthy sleep habits, to soothe himself to sleep, and sleep through the night, or at least not to wake up every couple of hours! This of course needs courage, patience and strength. I had to listen to his cries that were getting louder and louder and hold myself from picking him up immediately. I only went in every couple of minutes to pat and reassure him. It was heartbreaking to hear him cry like that, but I kept encouraging myself not to surrender and to be stronger and more patient, especially that I know that he needs nothing but being held. The process took more than half an hour, and Kareem finally fell asleep on his own for the first time. As much as I was glad that he did, I felt so sorry and guilty and began to cry myself, lol
Today morning, I kept kissing and hugging him asking him to forgive me :(
I know that this method needs consistency and once we started it we need to stick to it, and it's supposed to take a week or so until Kareem gets accustomed to fall asleep by his own and thus the mission of establishing good and healthy sleeping habits is accomplished. Please God help me.

Congratulations Simsim

2008-10-22T18:51:00.004+04:00

I've just learned that my dear friend and blogger, Simsim, has got engaged. WOHOOOOOO

I can't describe how happy and excited I am for her! Congratulations sweetie, you deserve the best. My warm wishes for a lifetime of joy and togetherness. God bless you :)

xoxo

Scenes (3)

2008-10-22T10:50:00.003+04:00

setting: at the doctor's clinic, a couple of weeks ago.

Scene 1:

A mother who's son was suffering from a severe stomach pain was feeding him man2osheh b za3tar and soda.

Scene 2:

A mother(?) was busy chatting with everyone while the maid was holding her baby girl the whole time. When the baby cries, the maid tries to soothe her, when she's hungry, the maid prepares the bottle and feeds her, when the baby nags, the maid talks and plays with her or takes her for a walk. The mother doesn't bother to even look at her baby or try to know what's wrong with her.

I wonder if the baby knows who her real mother is.

Naughty Kareemo

2008-10-22T10:21:00.000+04:00

Yesterday Kareem didn't want to leave me alone, he kept nagging all the time wanting me to pick him up. When I didn't listen, he started screaming and crying. At first I surrendered to his tears, they make me weak and guilty.. Then I decided to leave him cause I had to cook. His screaming made me nervous that instead of cutting the veggies, I ended up cutting my thumb. It was really difficult for me to continue preparing the food with an injured finger.

Kareem also woke up at about 3:30 am to eat, and decided not to sleep and was in the mood to play and laugh out loud. His laughing woke his dad up who stayed awake until he went to his job. I guess Ammar is thinking seriously of sleeping in the living room from now on :D

Kareem and Mom in Abu Dhabi

2008-10-20T10:15:00.000+04:00

I've been worried recently about flying with Kareem and kept praying that he doesn't cry much and make a scene on the plane. I also did my best to get him accept the bottle which he hates sooo much. We struggled for weeks until he eventually accepted it. Unfortunately, on the plane, and before taking off, he decided that he doesn't want to eat from the bottle at allllll! and the moment I put it in his mouth, he started screaming. I didn't know what to do. I gave it another try and again he started screaming. He was hungry and I had to come up with a way to feed him. Once he was full, he fell asleep and spent most of the journey sleeping. So, in general, Kareem was a good boy except for the bottle and screaming part.

Yesterday I was all alone with Kareem for the first time, with no one to help.. no baba and no teta. Kareem is not used to stay alone or leave me alone :D and I was wondering what am I supposed to do now that I have more responsibilities. But again, it was easier than I expected. I managed to do some housework and cook. I'm trying to make him get used to stay alone while I'm busy doing something, it breaks my heart to hear him crying but since he doesn't need anything except being held, he nags a little bit and then stops. With time it will get easier I believe.

Off to Abu Dhabi

2008-10-14T14:13:00.000+04:00

Kareem turned three months a couple of days ago and it's time for him, and me, to leave Lebanon and go back la 3end baba :) We're flying on Thursday to Abu Dhabi this time. Kareem is sad that he's leaving teta... I've never seen my mom so attached to anyone as much as she's attached to Kareem, and never seen her love someone as much as she loves him. To be honest, I regretted that I came here to give birth cause leaving now is much more difficult than anytime else. Everyone is asking her sho ra7 ta3mli hala2 now that Kareem is leaving, and she answers "3adi, Allah ysahel 3alehon". I know that it's not 3adi and that she will miss him so badly... but what can we do, ces't la vie.

Eid Mubarak

2008-09-30T09:51:00.003+04:00

Although it isn't that happy here in Lebanon, I wish you all a Happy Eid! :)

Yummy Hands

2008-09-28T17:20:00.000+04:00

Kareem has recently discovered his hands. He spends much time playing with them, crossing his fingers, unintentionally grasp anything that comes close to them, and the worst part is that he puts them in his mouth and start sucking them! No matter how I try to keep his hands away from his mouth, he puts them back!
He still doesn't know of course that they're part of his body and that he can hold things with them, but he finds them amusing, a new thing to discover and play with.

For the first time in history

2008-09-21T17:40:00.000+04:00

Kareem slept six consecutive hours, and so did I!
WOOHOOOO

Scenes (2)

2008-09-17T22:25:00.001+04:00

Scene 1
He and his fiancée had just finished their meals. He was thinking about the bill already when he suddenly craved for a dessert. He hesitated for a moment and then asked his fiancée: "hmm, Do you want a dessert or something?" (Please dear God, make her say no, please please).
-"hmm, well.."
-(OMG, is she going to say yes?! I must act quickly) "we can share one you know"
-"Share?! No thanks!"
-"OK good, so you don't want a dessert? I'll order one for myself"
- looking at him in disbelief and anger"Sa7tain!!"

Scene 2
He and his fiancée had just finished their meals.
-"It's time for a dessert, what do you want to have sweetie?"
-"I don't know, what do you suggest?"
-"They have good chocolate cakes here, and I know that you like chocolate cake, what do you think?"
-"OK, let it be chocolate cake then" :)
_"Alright honey"

Scenes from Life (1)

2008-09-17T21:45:00.001+04:00

Scene 1
She heard a knock at the door.. she hurried to open it. To her surprise, it was her father who came home unexpectedly. She was stunned, drew back and rushed to her room as if she had just seen a monster.

Scene 2
She heard a knock at the door.. she hurried to open it. To her surprise, it was her father who came home unexpectedly. She got all excited and rushed up to hug and kiss him telling him how glad she was to see him home early. She had so many things to tell him, and they were gonna spend some good time together, as usual...

قده قد الفارة

2008-09-17T18:47:00.000+04:00

كريم صوته عالي على ما يبدو، مش عارفة لمين طالع!! بس مؤخرا اكتشفنا انو لما يبكي أو يصرخ (مش بالضرورة يصرخ يعني زعلان ممكن يصرخ وهو مبسوط، أو لما بدو ياني بصرخ بصوت عالي) صوته بيوصل لعند الجيران، كل يوم بقولولنا سمعنا صوت كريم الساعة الفلانية  و هو عم بيصرخ

فضيحة هالولد، قده قد الفارة وصوته مملّي الحارة

Two Months

2008-09-12T20:50:00.000+04:00

At the hospital, when they brought Kareem to me, I didn't know what to do with him, didn't even dare to hold him. I'm not used to deal with newborns and always thought that they look funny and weird with their puffy eyes and wrinkled skin.

I stared at Kareem in amazement, like a kid who has just received a new toy and still has no idea what to do with it and how it works. I thought that he looked so cute, even with the puffy eyes and wrinkled hands. Everybody was encouraging me to hold him but I was scared and thought that he was too small and fragile to hold! I was afraid that I might hurt him or something. But eventually I forced myself to hold him, carefully.. and cautiously...
Is this the same creature who has lived inside me for nine months? Subhan Allah!!
So finally we met. It took us some time to get used to each other. I thought that I was such an ignorant mother who didn't know how to handle her baby, and I felt guilty about it. I didn't even know how to change his diaper, I remember that once I woke my mom up in the middle of the night because I couldn't figure out how to change Kareem's diaper by myself :D . I used to get extremely worried and panic whenever Kareem cries thinking that I must have missed something or done something wrong. I've always felt guilty and blamed myself about it until I found out that crying is just the way babies express their needs, it's their only language, and sometimes they cry just for the heck of it! I had lots of things to learn. I can say that the first month was extremely difficult, lack of sleep made me exhausted and drained all the time.No baby blues though thank God! I didn't know that being a mother can be this hard. Now I understand why is it so great to be a mom and why we must appreciate our mothers.

The second month, however, was less exhausting. I kinda started to understand Kareem's language. He now cries less and has certain signs to express what he needs instead of crying. I'm enjoying him more and everybody is enjoying him. Friends and family, young and old, have fallen in love with Kareem. He became everybody's toy :D. They visit us more often not to see me but to see Kareem, and call us not to check on me but to check on Kareem. And I don't mind at all of course :D. Kareem is a sociable baby, he likes visitors, and mostly behaves in their presence.
Kareem is a stubborn baby, and very hyper too, mashallah! He gets bored easily and always wants new things to entertain him. He has his own rules, nobody can control him and this is making things hard for me. I'm a person who cherishes freedom, now I feel that I lost it all. I am no more free to do whatever I want at the time I want. My whole life is now devoted to Kareem, the sweetest and the most precious gift that heaven sent us.
Kareem turned two months old today! Happy Birthday Kareemo. May God bless and protect you my little angel. We love you.
and thank you for giving me a few minutes to write this post :D

MAD

2008-09-01T18:08:00.004+04:00

and where else to vent, my dear blog of course!
*Kareem was sick. I couldn't sleep last night. His coughing and noisy breath made me worried and nervous. I couldn't wake him up to clean his stuffy nose for I knew how upset he usually becomes when someone wakes him up. My poor baby. I couldn't hear him breathing like that, as if I was the one who's finding a difficulty in breathing not him. He's much better today, thank God!

*So, on the first day of Ramadan, I am tired, sleepy, a bit hungry but verrrrry thirsty.

*I almost had a fight with the neighbors, yeah yeah on the first day of Ramadan, because Kareem was terrified by the fireworks noise their children were playing with! Not to mention the loud music the other neighbors play which is very disturbing. I wish I can report them to the police.

*I can't believe how "shallow" and silly some people are! I hate the fact that I have to deal with this sort of people.

Ramadan Mubarak sa7ee7 :$

Abu Ramadan

2008-09-01T17:12:00.000+04:00

Hubby is suggesting that our son, Kareem, should name his son Ramadan, so that his son's name would be Ramadan Kareem :D

Ramadan Kareem everyone :)

Ebni el Habool

2008-08-19T13:28:00.000+04:00

started hurting himself.
He always scratches his face.I cut his nails, yet he managed to injure his nose as well as his cheek!!
He was screaming like crazy, and when I hurried to see what's wrong, I found him pulling his own hair!

Our First Anniversary

2008-08-15T13:35:00.000+04:00

Exactly a year ago today, we got married. I don't believe it's been a year! As if it was yesterday, despite the many events and changes that took place during this year.
Leaving Lebanon, celebrating our wedding in Jordan, moving to Turkey, then back to Lebanon, then moving to Dubai, and now back to Lebanon... getting pregnant.. and the most important thing my angel's birth...
Sometimes I find it hard to believe that I became a wife, and a mother!
Ammar and Kareem, you're the best thing that has ever happened to me. I'm blessed to have you in my life.

Happy Anniversary my love, I love you :)

Kareem's Blog

2008-08-14T09:56:00.003+04:00

For those who think that I'm away because I'm not updating my blog. I am not. I am around, updating THIS blog... Kareem's blog. See you there :)

Kareem's First Smile

2008-08-09T22:05:00.000+04:00

Kareem is four weeks old. He has been smiling recently only while sleeping or just about to fall asleep. He looks soooooooo cute when he smiles and I always wonder about what makes him smile :D
Today, he surprised me with an adorable cute smile when I was talking and playing with him, and he was fully AWAKE!! Nothing can be sweeter and more heart melting than seeing your baby smiles at you for the first time! 7abeebi, he made my day! Can't wait to see more real and huge smiles Kareemo. 7ebak ana, mwaaah

Advice of the Day

2008-08-07T20:51:00.000+04:00

Never try to cook or bake anything unless you make sure that your baby is deeply asleep and is not likely to wake up any time soon, cuz when he suddenly wakes up and starts crying you'll end up missing an ingredient or something and spoil the whole thingie

Thank you Foof!

2008-08-07T14:45:00.000+04:00

Wafaa' made us this beautiful card on the occasion of Kareem's arrival! We decided to post it in our blog.
That was so sweet of you Foof. We love you. xoxo

Going Out for the First Time

2008-08-06T10:41:00.000+04:00

I've been told that I went out for the first time last week. I'm saying "I've been told" cuz I really had no idea that I did! Since I need a passport, we went to take passport photos. Unfortunately, I fell asleep before going out and remained so all the time. They say that I opened my eyes after various attempts to wake me up and the photographer took advantage of the moment and photographed me before I closed them and fell asleep again! Then they went to a friend's place and stayed for a while and I remained peacefully asleep during the visit until we went back home.

So, I missed my first meshwar! This is so unfair mommy! :@
Anyway, I heard that I'll be going out next week too (I'll be one month old) , to visit my doctor this time. I hope I don't miss that too!!

Pee Pee Time!

2008-08-03T20:02:00.000+04:00

A couple of days ago I peed on my mom while being changed :D
I did the same to grandma once but I kept the big surprise to mom. She felt a warm liquid pouring on her clothes from nowhere before she discovered that this liquid was nothing but my pee :D
She was shocked at first, OHHHH NOOOOO, but then she burst out laughing. You naughty little thing, shame on you!
Sorry mama, I tried to hold it in but couldn't :S :D

Delivery

2008-08-01T21:21:00.000+04:00

On the same day I posted that I felt some labor signs, the signs started to get better gradually. At night I felt some contractions, mild pain accompanied with heavy sweating. But the contractions were not regular and not painful. My friend suggested to take me to the hospital but I refused since I knew that what I was feeling were not the “real” labor signs.
Kareem was moving that night like never before, his movement was increasing intensively and I told mom: the baby has been moving since hours as if he can’t stand to stay in there anymore and wants to get out so badly :D .
I slept a couple of hours that night. I wake up at 5 a.m. and shortly afterwards my water broke!I wake my mom up and headed directly to the hospital. There were no contractions, no pain at all.. but I knew that I’ll be holding my baby in my arms very soon. I was excited… at last..the moment that I’ve been waiting for since nine months has came … my baby is on his way… five hours later, Kareem arrived. I lost track of time but I was told that he arrived at 11 a.m.
What I first noticed the moment Kareem was born was that he was clean with just a little bit of blood on his head. He didn’t cry at first, he was looking around him, kinda scared, not knowing where he is or what’s happening to him, poor little thing.. I was examining him… not believing my eyes… “how’s the baby?” the doctor asked. “He’s fine” replied the nurse. I got emotional, as usual, and my eyes teared up, El 7amdulillah ya rab..
Then, a sense of relief and peace suddenly took hold of me. They took Kareem to clean him and I was taken to my room. I couldn’t rest, couldn’t sleep… couldn’t wait to see Kareem, hold him.. tell him how long I've waited for this moment and how much I love him... and start my new role as a mother :)

Hello World!

2008-07-27T15:47:00.000+04:00

Hi everyone! This is Kareem blogging :D
I arrived to this world on Saturday, July 12, 2008, at about 11 a.m. I was supposed to arrive two weeks later but since I heard that mom was in a hurry and since I got bored in there I decided to come early. I am two weeks old now. Mom says that we must party and sing happy birthday to you tralala :D, she said the same last week too :D
Mom seems very happy and excited at my arrival. The moment I arrived she forgot all about her pain and the things the doctor and nurses were doing to her and turned her head towards me with eyes full of love and tears.
I love the songs mom made up for me. She usually hums them in the morning when she is still in a good mood. She says that I am the most adorable and the cutest baby she's ever seen! She's my mother you know and I wouldn't have believed her haven't I heard everybody else saying the same too, especially mom's friends. I'm glad that gorgeous ladies like me and think that I am so cute :D
I haven't met my father yet, he keeps asking for my pictures and videos, and I can't wait to see him.
Life is not bad so far, I spend my day mostly in sleeping, crying, and drinking milk. .. hmm sho kaman,OK that's it for now I guess. Since this blog was created especially for me, I'll be sharing it with mommy. Will be back later..

Kareem, our son, has arrived!

2008-07-15T21:21:00.002+04:00

Our little bundle of joy, our angel, Kareem, arrived on Saturday, July, 12, 2008, 12 days before the due date.
As if he was reading this post, and found in this caricature a good idea to surprise his mom :D
We're both fine El Hamdulillah and I just can't describe the joy he brought to my life :)

First Labor Signs?

2008-07-11T16:21:00.000+04:00

When I was told that there were no labor signs at all, I was upset.
Now that there are a couple of signs, I became very anxious, worried, impatient and restless...
The bad thing about delivery is that you never know when exactly it is going to happen, some signs may take place a couple of hours, days, or even weeks before real labor.

This is the first time I call my doctor. I had to ask her about some changes that I noticed. She said that these are good signs that labor is on its way and there's no need to worry. She also asked me to keep track of the baby's movement and in case I didn't notice any for a long time I should head to the hospital to make sure that everything's OK.
Mom is asking me to distract myself and just take it easy and wait until it's time.
So, between watching the fetal movement and trying to distract myself, I'm kinda confused.
Yesterday night I was hallucinating about the baby's diapers, lol. I woke up and found myself saying: newborn diapers packs, not the 6 kgs one, I want the 2 to 5 kgs pack :D

Week 38

2008-07-09T15:46:00.000+04:00

Two more weeks to go, or three, or maybe more (I hope not).
The doctor said that there are no signs that labor is going to take place anytime soon.
I felt bad, I was kinda disappointed by what she said; and I had abdominal cramps after visiting her. I know I know.. it's not my due date yet and I shouldn't have expected her to say anything else, but I just felt bad. I couldn't stand the pain that's supposed to be mild, to me this is not mild at all, I wonder how is it going to be during delivery, I'm scared already. I told mom that I won't get pregnant again, and I think that I will die during delivery, die of pain, lol. She yelled at me asking me to stop saying nonsense :D
There are times when I just feel sick of being pregnant, bored and tired of waiting...

On a side note,I stopped gaining weight since the beginning of the ninth month. I gained 13 kgs, which is normal and appropriate.

Oh No, Not Again!

2008-07-04T12:06:00.000+04:00

I was looking forward to give birth so that I can finally stop feeling hungry every couple of hours and return back to my normal eating habits. It's weird how I should always worry about getting hungry, and take precautions before going out so that my stomach doesn't start growling and I along with my baby start shouting: FEED ME NOW :D

Until I found out just yesterday that the dream of going back to normal eating still has to wait and won't come true anytime soon. Because if a pregnant woman needs to add 300 extra calories to her diet, a breastfeeding woman needs to consume 500 additional calories per day! :S

Hushhhhh. The Secrets Tag

2008-07-02T23:43:00.004+04:00

I found it on Tooteh's and Noura's.
I remember doing a similar tag before, in 2007. but here are more secrets revealed. 6 things you most probably don't know about Diana.

1- I am my mother's only child, and my father's only daughter but not his only child. efhamoha ento ba2a :D

2- I was always the youngest student in the class, two years younger than my classmates. My mother was a teacher, and used to take me with her to school when I was three years old because of the civil war in Lebanon and some circumstances. At age four, she let me join first graders, who were six years old, as a "mostame3a" only. To everybody's surprise, I passed the first term exams with the highest marks :D. Yeah, I was 3abqareno, hehe. So, the school principal decided to officially register me despite my young age.

3- I used to be a man-hater. My husband was the one who made me change my mind about men :D

4- Most people know that I met my husband through a friend. Only a few of our family members know the fact that we met online :)

5- I was the one who first confessed to my husband that I love him :D, that was after he met my family. We used to like each other, bas. He was shocked, lol, because I rarely have the courage to talk openly about my feelings. But at that moment, I felt that I respect and love him so, so I just let it out :)

6- Despite being nice and calm most of the time, I become very rude and aggressive when I'm hurt. If anybody did me wrong, I must pay him back. Only then I feel relieved. *de7keh shirrera* :D

I'm supposed to tag 6 people. I tag Simsim, Loza, Nido, Adoosh, Naser, and Jasim. Yalla, tell us some of your secrets guys. :)

Random Questions Tag

2008-07-02T23:02:00.006+04:00

I've been tagged by Lozloz. I'm supposed to answer the following questions:

- What is the color of your wallet?
it's a black Gucci wallet.
- Do you have pics in your wallet? La meen?
Yes, my mother's, my brother's and a pic for me and hubby.
- What is the most precious gift you have ever received and you love it still?
hmm, I love all the gifts I receive, how precious they are depends of course on the person I received them from and on the occasion not on their real value. I don't have a favorite one.
- Ever had an imaginary friend? If not, name your childhood friends.
My teddy bears and dolls were among my childhood friends :D
Rana, Lubna, and Nisreen were my closest friends back then.
- What is the color of your shoe/ slipper at this moment?
Silver
- Drinking something? What?
No
- What do you want to do at this moment?
I want to go to bed, I'm sleepy and tired.
- what is the first thing that comes across your mind when u read or hear the name of the blogger who tagged you?
well, many things :D
Arabic literature, poetry, Le Mirabelle Cafe (Amman) and peach flavored soda ;), yummy muffins and the famous Palestinian dish Msakhan.

Thank you Chef Loza. Feel free to do the tag people, if you are interested.

Grrrrrrr

2008-07-01T23:32:00.000+04:00

Mothers.. ya mothers... You were pregnant once, weren't you?! And you know how annoying and disturbing noise and mess can be to a pregnant woman!
So why do you come along to visit her with your unbearably naughty and noisy kids and turn her day into a living hell?!
When you have such uncontrollable kids, LEAVE THEM AT HOME for God's sake.. ana mish tay2a 7ali.. effttt
khalas, fadfadet :D

Random Thoughts

2008-06-27T15:36:00.000+04:00

- Today I was surprised at how my fingers look, they have swelled up! They look funny, especially that I have small hands and thin fingers, and the wedding ring doesn't fit anymore! :D
My feet have swelled up too, long time ago, and I had to put my old shoes aside and buy a new pair.
My face, however, hasn't changed yet, not a bit. Although I heard that the face does swell in the last month too.

- I feel so heavy, and I am finding a difficulty sleeping, especially in this hotttttttt weather. It's so damn hot and I can barely take a breath.

- The doctor said that I can start walking from now. My mom laughed and said: She's been walking since a loooong time, halkatna :D . It's OK, I feel much better when I walk. If I stayed a couple of days without exercising, my back and legs start hurting.

- The baby is growing so fast in the last month, mashAllah. Last week, he weighed 2.5 Kg, now he's 2 Kg and 800 g. He's gonna be a healthy boy, inshAllah.

- I started "packing" the bag I'm gonna take to the hospital.

- The doctor started lecturing me about the do and the do nots. She concentrated on the point that I shouldn't freak out and get tensed, because this won't help at all during delivery. The more relaxed I am, the easier the delivery will be... Allah yestor :S

- The countdown has begun, and I can't wait until it's all over. I hate waiting, especially when it's for a big event like this... having my first baby.

Pregnancy Humor

2008-06-26T19:34:00.000+04:00

أدعية المرأة الحامل

2008-06-22T23:00:00.000+04:00

من انفع الأدعية دعاء الام الحامل لجنينها و هو في بطنها وهذه مجموعة ادعية للأم الحامل
حتى يحفظ الله لها جنينها و يتم حملها على خير و يستحسن الاتيان بها بعد كل صلاة
*****************************
اللهم اجعله مسلما صالحا عابدا ذاكرا..حافظا للقران الكريم وممن يعملون به..
اللهم اجعله بارا بوالديه وأهله..
اللهم حسن خلقه وخلقه ..
اللهم أعذه من شياطين الأنس والجن..
اللهم سهل ويسر حمله وولادته..
اللهم أقر عيني به..
اللهم ارزقني ولدا واجعله تقيا ذكيا
واجعله سليما معافى ولا تجعل في خلقه زيادة ولا نقصان ..
واجعل عاقبته إلى الخير...
اللهم اصلح لي ذاتي وذريتي...
اللهم استودعتك هذا الجنين فحسن في خلقه وأخلاقه يا رب العالمين..
اللهم اني اسألك هون الطلق وحسن الخلق ..
اللهم آمين.....

********************************
- "ربِّ هبْ لي من لدنك ذريةً طيبةً إنك سميع الدعاء".
- "ربِّ لا تذرني فردًا وأنت خير الوارثين".
- "ربِّ هَبْ لِي مِن لَّدُنْكَ وَلِيًّا، يَرِثُنِي وَيَرِثُ من دعوة الإسلام، واجعله رَبِّ رَضِيًّا".
- "اللهم ارزقني صبيًّا حَنَانًا مِّن لَّدُنّك وَزَكَاةً، وَاجعله ربِّ تَقيًّا، وَبَرًّا بِوَالِدَيْهِ، وَلا تجعله جَبَّارًا عَصِيًّا، واجعله اللهم يأخُذ الْكِتَابَ بِقُوَّةٍ، وَآته اللهم الحكْم صَبِيًّا".
- "ربِّ َهَب لَي غُلامًا زَكِيًّا، واجعله اللهم مُبَارَكًا أَيْنَ ما كان، وأعِنه على الصلاة وَالزَّكَاةِ مَا دام حَيًّا، وَبَرًّا بِوَالِدَيه وَلا تَجْعَلْه جَبَّارًا شَقِيًّا".
- "اللهم اكتب له طولَ العمر، وحُسنَ العمل، وسعة الرزق، وسعادة الدارين".
- "اللهم ارزقه جمال الخَلق والخُلق، وقوة الدين والبدن، وسعادة الدنيا والآخرة".
- "اللهم إني أستودعك جنيني الذي في رحمي، أنت الذي لا تضيع ودائعك يا الله".
- "اللهم احفظ جنيني واحْمِه، وامسكه في رحمي,وأتم حمله على خير".
- "اللهم يا من أمسكت السماء أن تقع على الأرض وهي بلا عمد، أمسك ما في رحمي، وأتمم له على خير".
- "اللهم صوِّره في أحسن صورة ونجِّه من كل تشويه ومرض".
- "اللهم يسِّر حملَه وولادتَه ورضاعتَه وتربيتَه، واجعله مطيعًا لربه، بارًّا بوالديه، متعاونًا مع إخوته، نافعًا لأمته، زخراً للإسلام والمسلمين".
- "ربنا هبْ لنا من أزواجنا وذرياتنا قرة أعين واجعلنا للمتقين إمامًا".

- ومن أفضل الأمور التي يجب أن تتحصَّن بها الحامل وتحرص عليها في كل حياتها: أذكار الصباح والمساء، فإن فيها نفعًا كبيرًا، وخيرًا عميمًا، وعونًا في أمرَي الدنيا والدين

"My Mosaic" Tag

2008-06-19T00:21:00.004+04:00

A very interesting tag that Jasim posted and I was encouraged to do.

the rules:

a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
b. Using only the first page, pick an image.
c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd’s mosaic maker.

The questions are:

1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favorite drink?
7. Dream vacation?
8. Favorite dessert?
9. What do you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. One Word to describe you.
12. Your Flickr name.

give it a try :)

The Penguin Walk

2008-06-13T15:00:00.000+04:00

I sometimes suffer from a backache that makes me walk with a waddle. When I was in Dubai, I went for a walk with hubby who looked at me and said: Oh, you walk like a penguin! :D I laughed so hard my eyes teared up. Couldn't imagine myself to be walking like a penguin, that's so funny, hehe
Now my mom calls me "Batta", but hubby insists that "penguin" is more accurate :D

I'm feeling heavy and tired these days, I'm bored already and want this to end very soon. I hate how impatient I am, and that I still have to wait for more than five weeks. This endless talk about labor and delivery is freaking me out. I understand that people are trying to help by giving me information and telling their own experiences but I just don't want to hear anything about this matter for the time being. I want to distract myself from thinking too much about delivery and the suffering I may go through. I keep praying for an easy and smooth delivery and a healthy baby inshallah.

Back to Lebanon

2008-05-22T15:20:00.000+04:00

I returned back to Lebanon last Saturday, May 17, my birthday :D. which happens to be Amjad's birthday too. Happy birthday again Amjad :)
I've been lazy since then to update my blog, I still am but I'm forcing myself to write something.
Anyway, I enjoyed my stay in Dubai and being with hubby. I miss him so much already. Me and the baby are doing fine, two months to go inshallah.
I cried my eyes out when I saw the fierce clashes in Lebanon and thought that I will never manage to come back and that I will be all alone when it's time to deliver my baby. I was emotionally prepared that when that time comes, I will be in Lebanon, with family and most importantly with my mother. The mere thought that I will have to think of other options drove me crazy. But elhamdulillah, when things calmed down, I decided that everything will go the way I want and as planned. So, I flied back to Lebanon despite the many objections.
I had a hope that things will be OK, and that's what happened. After yesterday's agreement, the Lebanese are finally relieved, happy and optimistic :)

Off to Dubai

2008-03-16T19:20:00.000+04:00

I'm leaving this week to Dubai where I'll spend a couple of months. Then I'll return back to Lebanon and stay here until delivering my baby in July inshallah. I missed my husband, I haven't seen him for more than three months and I can't wait to be with him again. He'll be surprised at how I look now, I'm surprised myself, lol. But I'm glad that we will have a chance to live this experience together even if it was only for two months, better than nothing, no?
It's my first time to the UAE, and I think that I'm gonna like it there. In all cases, it will be better than living in Turkey, hopefully. Ahhh, the-Turkey-nightmare is still haunting me apparently :D

Anyway, I'll keep praying that things get better here in Lebanon and that when I come back I find that all the issues were solved and everything is just fine. inshallah ya rab.
I may stop blogging for a while, but I'll make sure to check your blogs every now and then.
bye for now :-)

from Lebanon...to Jordan.. with Love...

2008-03-12T17:30:00.005+04:00

In the past, the word Jordanian meant nothing to me.. it wasn’t more than a word written in my passport and a direct answer to the question: what is your nationality?

All what I can recollect from my childhood about the "Jordanian spirit" in our house is that my late father, God bless his soul, used to watch the Jordanian TV a lot, and a weird accent he and some men used to speak when they meet or speak over the phone.

With the passage of time, I started to become curious to know more about Jordan, excited to learn more about our family there. And the only way to satisfy this curiosity was to go there and find out myself.

We used to hear remarks about the Jordanians being closed-minded, old school, very conservative people. Some people even warned me from going there expecting that my family there wouldn't like the way I dress and force me to wear hijab, or may oblige me to marry one my cousins and stuff like that... I admit that this kinda freaked me out, yet didn't change my mind about visiting Jordan as soon as I had the chance to. It wasn't before the year 2001 that I finally made up my mind to go.

I set off on a chilly day in December 2001.. a day that I vividly remember. It was the first time I leave Lebanon; the first time I travel a long distance all alone. It's not a long distance travel between Lebanon and Jordan you know but back then, to me, it was. I felt a bit uneasy, but the excitement feeling was more overwhelming. When I arrived, I was showered with love... I can't tell you how sweet and caring my family in Jordan turned out to be. They are anything but closed minded and old school! It was Ramadan, and despite being very exhausted and sleepy, I stayed awake until after suhur. We had a big family gathering at suhur, and it was one of the most exciting and the most unforgettable nights I've ever had.
I spent the Eid there too. And what can I tell you, Eids in Jordan have a different taste. All the family gatherings, rejoicing, laughing, joyful conversations and great times... all were new to me. I've never thought that I had such a big happy family, and I felt very sorry that I missed all that fun in the previous years of my life.

Now, see, things became totally different. Jordan now holds a special place in my heart, Jordanian is not just a word written in my identity card, not anymore... it's now something deeper and more meaningful. Jordan is the beautiful country, the good people, the big family, the feeling of being protected and surrounded by loving, caring people. It's the place where I met my husband, where I had both my engagement and my wedding parties. The place of the most beautiful memories. The place where I had the chance to meet great people and great friends like: Rana, Ola, Areej, Weddo, Amjad, Qais, Raeef, Dina, Maher, and my best online friend Simsim, and a few more...

I'm glad that I had the chance to blog about Jordan, I thought at first that I won't find anything to write about since I don't live in Jordan. The post is personal more than anything else, but hey, at least I tried. Of course I have to thank Qwaider for coming up with this great idea :)

Ghorbeh

2008-03-06T15:55:00.002+04:00

I am a person who gets very attached to people and places that I suffer a lot when leaving them and find a big difficulty in adapting to new ones.
I've experienced what's called culture shock more than once in my life, and I'm prepared for yet another one that's coming very soon.

The first time was when we moved to another city, leaving my friends, with whom I spent eleven years of my life, back. Despite being in the same country, the change was too much for me to bear. At school, I was surrounded by strangers instead of friends. I felt alienated and heart-broken. I used to call my friends and send them letters telling them how miserable I was without them. I didn't want to study anymore, I hated everything and everyone in my life, my school, my classmates, my teachers, everything. My grades were getting worse and worse. And I was getting more aggressive and depressed. Believe it or not, (I myself can barely believe that) It took me years to get used to my new life.

I visit Jordan once or twice a year, and I do love being there and enjoy it a lot. But it takes me one month only before I start feeling uneasy and homesick and would cry like a baby asking them to "take meeee baaaack hoooome".
The idea of living abroad and leaving Lebanon used to freak me out, and I had a feeling that I was going to leave, sooner or later. And that's what actually happened. When I got married and had to leave I promised myself not to think much about it, to be open-minded and look at the positive side, and do my best to get used to this new life as soon as possible. You know during the first stage, one feels excited, everything about the foreign country and its people seems interesting and fascinating, but later on the suffering and the homesickness begins... the worst phase of all.. when you're overwhelmed with the uncomfortable feeling of not belonging, of being an outsider, which will eventually lead to a feeling of isolation and even a hostility to the new environment. These symptoms, however, are most likely to disappear with the passage of time. I didn't reach the "recovery" and "stability" phase which is the normal outcome of living abroad though because thankfully my unborn baby decided to put an end to my frustration and bring me back home.

What made me write this post is that I noticed that there are people who, just like me, feel like a fish out of water when they move from a familiar environment and enter a strange one, while others can more easily cope with culture shock, make new friends and move on in life.
I have these two friends, one of them left her husband in Spain after three months of getting married and returned back after she could take it no more. While the other has been living in Holland for years and barely complained of being bored, homesick or depressed. People are not the same after all.
I hate el "ghorbeh".

Mothers and Babies

2008-03-05T13:20:00.005+04:00

I came across the following funny post and thought of sharing it with you :D

Your Clothes
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

Preparing for the Birth
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time,breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.

The Layette
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

Worries
1st baby: At the first sign of distress-a whimper, a frown-you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing

Pacifier
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

Diapering
1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

Going Out
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

At Home
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

Kick Kick kick

2008-03-04T15:40:00.002+04:00

You naughty little thing! Why do you always choose to wake up and start kicking only when your mommy is about to fall asleep?! Are you going to do that as well when you come to this world?
that was a little note to my boy :D

I started feeling those little kicks a while ago. At first it felt like a heart beating in my belly. Later on, the kicking became more clear and stronger. I remember that I was doing something when I felt a kick in my belly so I left everything and went to sit and concentrate to make sure whether what I felt was real or I was just imagining things. And there it went, a kick, another one.. it was real, finally :D
My mother saw me drawing a wide smile on my face, hek la7ali mitl el habla, she must have thought that her daughter went crazy hehe, so she asked what's the matter? I told her that I started to feel the baby moving and kicking. She felt happy and excited too :)

Don't mind what I said at the beginning of the post. Actually I do like these kicks, it's another way to communicate with my baby, I feel that he's telling me "hello there, na7no hona" :D. I love it when in the morning, while I'm sipping my tea, the baby starts kicking as if he's trying to say : good morning mommy, I'm awake too

Silence!

2008-03-03T18:56:00.000+04:00

I'm a girl who's used to live in a calm and quiet atmosphere all her life. That's why I can't stand loud noise at all. It makes me go CRAZY. I can never be in the same room with a person shouting and speaking loudly or where there's loud music. I hate crowded noisy places. This made me suffer a lot when I was working as a teacher, you know the kids and all their noises and mess.. I needed nerves of steel to deal with that.

Anyway, I've been tagged by Simsim and I'm supposed to list at least 3 annoying noises that disturb me.

1- Any loud sound in the early morning, even when I'm fully awake, my senses are still at rest.

2- Any sound, no matter how low it is, would keep me from falling asleep. I wonder how can some people sleep peacefully when there's lots of noise around.

3- The sound of the Israeli planes that violate Lebanese airspace almost daily, it reminds me of the 2006 Lebanon war.

4- The sound of the dentist's tools. The sound of tash7eet (or what we call tashfeet here in Lebanon). Mosquitoes and flies buzzing. The sound some people make while eating or sipping coffee or tea, ewww

I tag Mais, Mais, and Amal, and whoever wants to do this tag.

Gaza

2008-03-03T11:37:00.006+04:00

When words fail us
When we feel completely helpless
We can do nothing but pray
for their safety and protection

Bad Boys

2008-03-01T17:18:00.001+04:00

Children are curious by nature. They like to explore and investigate.. They are fascinated with the world of adults and would badly want to become adults themselves . So, we see the young girl wearing her mom's shoes and the boy trying his father's necktie, and later on she would secretly use her mom's makeup and accessories and he would steal his fathers cigarettes or even his car.

All these are normal things that most teenagers may go through. But what bugs me big time is that when children lose their cuteness and innocence at a very young age and start acting and talking like grownups. I hate to see an eight or ten year old girl wearing high heals and huge earings, dying her hair or even wearing makeup! For God's sake she's still a child and not a teen yet! What's even more disturbing is that when boys start to think about or even be obsessed with matters that are too big and too complicated for their age.

I totally understand that some kids can be aware of sensitive matters like sex at the age of 10 or 12, sometimes after or sadly before that, but what I cannot perceive is the parents' ignorance of their boy's early adolescence and the circumstances that caused it and took the boy to an advanced stage where sex becomes all what occupies his mind and determines his actions.

In my first year as a teacher, I was asked once to take the place of another teacher who had to leave for some reason. It was my first time in grade seven and my last one too. The class was working on some worksheet that their teacher prepared for them, except for one who didn't take his eyes off me from the moment I entered the classroom. I asked him to kindly direct his attention towards his paper instead of wasting his whole time staring at me. After that he started asking me questions every now and then, what's this word, what does this question mean, etc... then he was almost whispering while talking to me so that I get near and closer to him to hear him well. I was explaining something to him when I noticed that he wasn't paying attention to the paper and to what I was saying at all, instead, he was drawing closer to me looking at me in a very strange way. A filthy disgusting look that got on my last nerve. I could barely believe that I was just almost harassed by a seventh grader!

In the same year, a fifth grader used to throw rulers and stuff under the girls desks so that he takes a peek at their legs and underwear. In grade three, there was a boy who was caught more than once drawing pictures for naked women. His parents were contacted and asked to keep a watchful eye on their son, but unfortunately we didn't sense any change in the boy. Last year, we also faced one of those weird exceptional cases where a second grader (seven years old) used to do things that went far beyond anything we could imagine a seven year old boy would do, and used to leave us in utter shock and bewilderment, like bringing porn magazines to school, opening his pants zipper to show the girls "something interesting", utter bad words to them, and tell them that he'd love to do so and so with them, etc... In this case too, the parents were contacted, but in vain. We, the teachers, could no more deal with this boy as a child. To us, he became just like a man whose mind is always occupied with dirty thoughts.

I feel very sorry for such kids. I feel sorry that their innocence and naivety for some reason have been snatched away this early. The kids are not to be blamed though. I blame negligent parents who think that raising kids is only about giving them food and clothing.

Diana?

2008-02-29T21:55:00.005+04:00

In Jordan, thy call this truck Diana. ro7et bil Diana w jeet bil Diana. People, for God's sake, it's called Toyota Dyna not DIANA!! Grrrr

US positions warships near Lebanon

2008-02-29T15:34:00.004+04:00

The US has sent three warships, including the USS Cole, to take up positions off the coast of Lebanon in a show of force over the ongoing political deadlock in the country.....

And what exactly is this supposed to mean?!

Hats Off to Lebanon!

2008-02-29T15:10:00.006+04:00

Lebanese Culture Minister Tarek Mitri announced on Wednesday. "Lebanon will not participate in this year's Paris book fair in protest at the cultural event's organizers' decision to select Israel as guest of honor."

Lebanon is the first Arab government to announce a boycott of the event, which runs March 14 through March 19, after organizers announced that 39 Israeli writers were being invited to mark the 60th anniversary of the Jewish state.

"The crimes against humanity that Israel is perpetrating in the Palestinian territories ... constitute, in themselves, a strong condemnation of Israel, making it unworthy of being welcomed as a guest of honor at an international book fair," the 50-nation Islamic Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization said.

My Rainbow Drops and Gays

2008-02-28T20:30:00.000+04:00

I received an interesting e-mail from someone who wanted to draw my attention to the fact that the rainbow is usually used to refer to gays and that it's one of their symbols. He even linked a blog for Jordanian gays which is called Jordan Rainbow. How nice!
Honestly speaking I've never heard of such a thing before, first time I know that gays have chosen the rainbow as their symbol! I feel ignorant and naive. I've never paid attention to their news, never been concerned about anything that has to do with them. And now to know that they do exist in our countries, blogging and bragging about their filthy behavior, and that the title of my blog carries their symbol, left me totally shocked! Oh, I feel that I'm living in another world!
I wanna change the title of my blog, sar shobha, lol

It's BLUE

2008-02-26T16:17:00.003+04:00

I mentioned before in a reply to Batoul that I have a feeling, a strong feeling indeed that's it's a boy. So, I wasn't in the least surprised when the doctor told me that it's a boy inshallah, as if I knew it already. Subhan Allah :)
Time to start thinking of a name, eh? What do you suggest?

Before 18 Tag

2008-02-24T14:14:00.003+04:00

I was tagged by Mais to list 6 things one must learn to do and avoid before he turns 18.

The rules for this tag are:

Post these rules before presenting your list.

List 6 actions or achievements you think every person should accomplish before turning 18.

There are no conditions on what can be included on the list.

At the end of your post, choose 6 people to get tagged and list their names.

People who are tagged write their own blog entry with their 6 suggestions.

Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged.

Alright, here we go:

1- Wear funky, trendy, and stylish clothes and accessories. Be fit and attractive.
2- Start to take care of your intellectual, spiritual and religious sides. Be on good terms with yourself, with God, and with the people around you.
3- Unleash your hidden superpowers and creativity. Do crazy and adventurous things as long as you're not hurting anybody including yourself. Read books, learn languages, choose a musical instrument and/or a sport and start learning and practicing it.
4- Think healthy and develop a healthy lifestyle. Do exercises frequently and eat healthy food. You can still enjoy having junk food from time to time.
5- Don't fall in love. Don't engage in a serious relationship. Don't take crucial decisions at this age whatsoever.
6- Start to enhance your life and your personality. Learn from your mistakes. Work on your weak points. Don't be stubborn and remember that you're still not wise enough to ignore your parents' advices. Listen to them, argue with them, but still, don't take things into granted.

and I have to violate one of the rules by not tagging anyone. Almost everybody was tagged already.

The Mystery Behind Wara2 el 3inab Disappearance!

2008-02-17T22:40:00.003+04:00

A friend of mine came visiting once, like two, three or even more years ago, and we had homemade hamburgers for lunch. I ate half a hamburger sandwich as usual, while she ate two. She couldn't believe that I eat only half a hamburger and found it a very amusing story to tell everybody about. "Do you believe that Diana eats half a hamburger? It's unbelievable, this girls eats nothing, even a kid can easily eat one or two!"
I went to this friend's place the other day, and someone started talking about food, so of course she didn't forget to mention the same old story of Diana and the hamburger. "For God's sake!" I told her "Aren't you ever gonna forget this story?". Her mother laughed and said that her daughter repeats the same story every single time they have hamburger.

So, the moral of the story is Diana doesn't eat much. But now, I had to add some calories to my diet you know. This baby of mine is mafjoo3, I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night feeling very hungry. I'd feel stomach pains in the early morning and get up just to eat.
A couple of days ago, we had wara2 3inab bil khodar, or b zeit, or yalanji, you name it. El mohem, I just LOVE stuffed grape leaves soooooo much. They usually make this dish as an appetizer, but who will think of eating anything else in the presence of wara2 el 3inab? Mom made a good quantity, so that I can eat my all time favorite dish for two days. We had lunch, and mom went out to visit some acquaintances. Shortly afterwards, I got hungry, so I ate another plate. A couple of hours later, I got hungry, again! and had a third plate. Not to mention that I was paying the kitchen a visit every now and then just to take a mouthful or two . When my mother came back home, she found the pot almost empty. "Did we have visitors?" she asked. "No, nobody came." I answered. "But, but.. where did the wara2 3inab go?" she exclaimed. "well, actually I ate it!" :D
"Unbelievable! Mashallah! Sa7tain." :D
So, I mustn't forget to tell my friend about this incident so that she totally forgets all about Diana and the hamburger story and start telling another one for a change: Diana and tanjaret wara2 el 3inab.

Marital Jealousy

2008-02-16T19:30:00.001+04:00

I’ve always related jealousy to lack of trust, or lack of self confidence or both (let alone that some men fake or exaggerate in showing their jealousy just to impress their girls). And since I have neither, there’s no need to be jealous. I’m an open-minded girl. I’d never mind if my husband has female friends with whom he’d talk and go out since I know all about it and nothing is happening behind my back. The last thing I would like to become is a silly, jealous, suspicious, controlling wife. Marriage is not a prison of two people after all, is it?

However, that was all before I got married. Now things have turned 180 degrees. Among the changes that happened to me during the past few months, I noticed that I’ve actually became jealous! But now I do not relate this jealousy to lack of self confidence or lack of trust, I relate it to excessive love that would result in a kind of possessiveness and consequently jealousy. I’d get really really REALLY furious whenever a girl crosses her limits while talking and laughing and joking with my husband. To her, he’s still the same old friend and she will still treat him the same way not taking into consideration that he’s now married to a woman who loves him and who happens to be sitting with her right now imagining, while smiling and pretending to be nice, that she’s engaging with her in a cat fight, pulling her hair, smashing her teeth and yelling at her LEAVE MY HUSBAND ALONE, HE’S MINE! Yes, to my surprise, I actually sank to that level, I hereby declare.

The husband, I believe, loves it when he sees his wife jealous! And to make things worse, he takes advantage of this week point of hers to tease her and enjoys watching her boiling in anger! Wicked men! oops I forgot that my husband reads this blog, I’m not talking about you honey, it’s a few men only whom I’m calling wicked. :D
And by the by, we have many common friends of whom I’d never ever get jealous! So, don’t get me wrong. It’s only the kind I talked about previously who get on my nerves.
So, to what extent would this kind of friendship between men and women affect marriage? I heard an interesting opinion that says there is no so called friendship between a man and a woman once he/she gets married! Having a close friend of the other gender is mostly dangerous to marriage. I'm not convinced of this but what do you guys think?

Zil Zal

2008-02-15T20:45:00.003+04:00

Today noon, while I was still kneeling down in prayer, the earth under me suddenly started moving and the whole building was shaking from side to side...Sounds of things shaking and falling , followed by sounds of screams and people running and shouting.. someone calling me to get out of the house immediately.. I was startled, not knowing what to do... turn off the oven, close the door, don't forget the keys, blablabla.. I jumped up, rushed outside, something hard fell down hitting me in the head.. I screamed, Mamma screamed too thinking that something bad happened to me.. I'm barefoot, where are my slippers, couldn't find them, I put on anything that came into my hand and ran downstairs.

The whole neighborhood was in the street, shocked and worried. Everyone then directed his attention towards me, are you OK? Don't panic, calm down, you look pale, what's wrong with your head? Get her some water... I wasn't really worried about me, I was extremely, entirely, utterly worried that something wrong would happen to my baby (God forbids). They all were worried about the same thing too, ma byeswa ten2azi hek. But what can I do, na2azit, and it was against my will. My head was hurting so bad, there was no blood, but something was swelling in my forehead like a small baloon. I had no idea what exactly hit me.

When I returned back home I found out that it was a metallic box I put on my closet that contains some old accessories. All the accessories were scattered all around the room. No biggie.. thank God nothing worse than that happened.

Emotional Instability

2008-02-09T15:14:00.000+04:00

I'm not a moody person by nature, or at least that's what I believe myself to be. I mean I'm not one of those people who wake up feeling bad, and just feel like crying or even beating someone up for no specific reason. When I feel bad, it's usually because something happened and made me feel so. Mostly I'm happy and optimistic. But I am a very sensitive girl, I must admit, I sometimes can be very easily irritated and hurt, and cry easily, that's why some people are usually careful when they deal with me :D. Still I am anything but moody.

But lately, I noticed that I've actually became moody! I sometimes find a big difficulty in controlling my temper and getting rid of strain and negative emotions. This makes me feel bad and guilty at times. I couldn't understand why is this happening until I found out that the unbalanced hormone levels are to be blamed for causing all this mess. Hormones change dramatically during pregnancy making the woman very moody, grumpy and overly emotional. A fact that many people, especially men, have no idea about. They think that she's only being na22a2a and daloo3a lol. What do they know about PMSing for nine months anyway? :p

Now I understand why they say that a pregnant woman needs all the care and support from the people around her (especially from the husband) during this sensitive stage. Thank God I have a very supportive family and caring friends who are helping me out through this phase. Being away from my husband is painful, I must say, but I'll do my best to make it not affect me much, if not for my sake, then for the sake of our baby.
So, guys, if you have any pregnant woman in the family, please be very supportive and nice, do not try to irritate her because you never know what her reaction might be :D. But in case anything happened, lay the blame on her crazy hormones not on her. ;)

Farewell Turkey. Hello UAE!

2008-02-06T17:13:00.000+04:00

I have GREAT news to share! Hubby flied a couple of days ago to Dubai where he started a new job, leaving Istanbul for good! Do you believe that? I'm not going back to Turkey, yippyyyyyy. In UAE I have some relatives and friends, and I can make more you know, no language barrier and therefore more social life and I can get a job as well. I don't have to study Turkish anymore, yaaaaay.
I prayed and prayed for this to happen, and thank God, it did! I can't tell you how excited I was when he finally signed the contract and started packing, both his and my stuff, poor thing, he had a couple of really really exhausting weeks. I wish I was there to help...
Still, he has to find a house in Dubai. So, those who live there, maybe you can offer us some advices that will help, please? :)

Another Interesting Picture

2008-02-03T18:28:00.001+04:00

وصل صدى الأحداث التي يشهدها قطاع غزة حاليا إلى ملاعب كرة القدم وبالتحديد في كأس أفريقيا الجارية حاليا في غانا، حيث ارتدى النجم المصري محمد أبو تريكة قميصا مكتوبا عليه عبارات تعبر عن التعاطف مع القطاع الفلسطيني الذي يعاني أهله حصارا إسرائيليا خانقا.

Picture of the Day

2008-01-27T11:45:00.000+04:00

This is for real! Lebanese pure air for sale. The can costs $3.5 :D

Thought of the Day

2008-01-23T16:17:00.000+04:00

Love is like a beautiful painting. The more you take care of it the more renewed and beautiful it remains. The more you ignore it, the more dust accumulates on it obscuring its beauty. The more you mistreat it, the more scribbles and damages are formed on it until they destroy it completely.

Diana.

The First Seen Moves

2008-01-23T14:37:00.000+04:00

The monthly visit to the doctor is one of the most exciting things that a pregnant woman would ever do! It's more like a date with her beloved cute little baby to meet him and see how's he doing.

Yesterday's visit was the most exciting one so far. I could see my baby, who has grown so fast Mashallah, very clearly this time. I loved it how my sweet doctor was as excited as I am while showing me the baby's body parts, "here are his eyes, his ears... check out his arms and legs... this is his neck, and here's his backbone... and here are his toes.. see how's he moving..." The cutest part that drove me to tears was when he put his hand on his cheek, he looked so cute mashallah! The sound of his heartbeat made me cry too. He was moving all the time, moving his arms and legs... I still don't feel these moves and kicks yet (but I was told that I will very soon).

But the naughty little thing couldn't allow us to know whether he's a boy or a girl. He was curling his legs up all the time and we waited for him to extend them but he didn't! I was very excited to know, now I have to wait for the coming months. I have to remember to punish him for that, LOL, kidding tab3an! :D

No More "Expecting Posts" Here!

2008-01-23T13:24:00.000+04:00

I believe that this experience deserves its OWN BLOG. Those who lost interest in reading pregnancy related posts will see them no more in Rainbow Drops. Those who are interested can still follow them in : Diaries of an Expectant Mother.

Ok guys, I will continue posting them here, but that blog will remain anyway.

Expecting (5): A Big Change

2008-01-22T14:10:00.001+04:00

Along with the tiny new being that's developing inside you, a new feeling - that you experience for the very first time - starts to develop too. That is: motherhood.

An indescribable different kind of love tickles your heart right at the moment you perceive that you are a mother-to-be and brings with it those tears of joy. A feeling that keeps growing with your growing awareness of the existence of this unseen little intruder who came to your life suddenly turning it upside down!

You become a different person. You notice continuous changes in the way you live and the way you look at life... changes in your interests and concerns... in your plans and priorities... in your body, mind and soul... in brief: changes in everything!

Now, there's a human being growing inside you who depends wholly on you to give him all the love and care essential for his growth. You are ready to give him anything that he needs, and just do anything you can to keep him safe and healthy. You follow all the instructions and advices just for him... You are extra cautious and careful in everything you do and eat.. in every move you make.. for his sake. You educate yourself and read all the pregnancy books and articles that come to your hand because you want the best for him. Simply, you are now living for him. *Diana sings you are the reason, and everything I do I do it for you* :D

I look back at the day I went out with my two married friends who spent the whole time talking about their pregnancies, and about their babies, their food and the kinds of diapers they use. And even ended up exchanging diapers, not used ones of course :D. They bored me to death that I decided never to go out with married friends again! Now such subjects became my favorites. It became more interesting and more fun to chat with my friends' mothers than chatting with my friends themselves :D. My God! Look how I've changed!
At the mall, instead of checking the women sections like I always do, my legs take me directly and unconsciously to the baby's section where my heart melts when I see the babies and their cute adorable stuff.

There's a lot of changes and sacrifices.. A lot of concerns and worries and mixed feelings that every pregnant woman goes through. Still, I believe that this exceptional glamorous experience is worth every sacrifice. It is undoubtedly the most exciting and rewarding adventure of a woman's life :)

Originally posted here.

Expecting (5): A Big Change

2008-01-21T16:50:00.000+04:00

Expecting (4): My Health

2008-01-18T20:10:00.000+04:00

My mother always says that I’ve been a good girl ever since I was a fetus. She's usually surprised whenever a woman complains about her uneasy pregnancy or about her naughty children saying that she never suffered from such things. E7EM E7EM :D.
This to some extent used to relieve me knowing that girls do inherit such things from their moms. So, having a smooth and happy pregnancy like mom’s was something I looked forward to.

Unfortunately, my pregnancy turned out to be completely different. I suffered from almost all the awful symptoms that pregnant women may have from nausea, heartburn, food aversions and cravings, to moody swings and other things.

Even before knowing that I’m pregnant, I noticed that I can’t stand to smell any strong odor including my own perfume. This, later on, developed to a strong feeling of DISGUST. Any smell, even that of food, would turn my stomach. I couldn’t enter the kitchen for weeks! Entering the kitchen was like entering hell to me. As a result, I wasn’t able to cook. So, I used to force myself to eat some fruits- the only thing that my stomach could accept- and that’s it! At night, hubby would order fast food after spending much time choosing something that would't make me feel queasy.

Starving myself means starving my baby, a fact that I came to know later, and made me feel very guilty. I made my baby starve, I am extremely sorry but I didn't mean to wallhi :(

Believe it or not, I hated all kinds of coffee and chocolate, knowing that I am a coffee lover and a chocoholic. Now I can’t even stand their smell! Weird things happen during pregnancy.
This, however, is a good thing. Pregnant women better limit their intake or even cut caffeine out of their diets. Chocolate, too, will give me nothing but extra pounds, so I'm lucky I hated it too.

On the other hand, I craved the arabic bread, especially el saj (mar2oo2) and tanoor, which was impossible to find in Turkey. I also craved my mom's cooking. I wanted badly to eat Mlokheyeh although I don't really like it much, but as I told you the most weird things may happen during pregnancy. I wanted to eat wara2 3inab, kebbeh b laban and many other things... I made a list by the way :D I was daydreaming about eating them :D

Eating them is no more a dream now. I enjoyed (and still) eating mama's cooking. Thanks to her care and tabeekh, I don't starve my baby no more. You better thank ur grandma for taking good care of you, fahem? hehe The pills and vitamins prescribed by the doctor helped a lot in reducing the symptoms and increasing my appetite and I started gradually to get better. Now that the first trimester which is the most difficult stage is about to end, the unpleasent symptoms are disappearing thank God. And I feel good, both physically and emotionally.

mind what you say facebookers,or you will end up in jail!

2008-01-15T18:00:00.000+04:00

اعتصم امس طلاب من جامعة القديس يوسف ـ فرع زحلة والبقاع، احتجاجا وتضامنا مع زملائهم الاربعة الذين تم توقيفهم منذ الخميس الفائت على خلفية مزاح وتعليقات وكلام مسيء على الانترنت بحق فتاة، التي رفعت دعوى قضائية بحقهم نتج عنها تحقيقات وملاحقات، أفضت الى توقيف المذكورين.
وشارك أهالي الموقوفين في الاعتصام وطالبوا والطلاب بالإفراج الفوري عنهم من أجل سنتهم الدراسية والعمل على حل المسألة والإشكال بالطرق التوافقية وبعيدا عن القضاء، لافتين أن أبناءهم موقوفون من دون إحالتهم الى القضاء المختص.
ويواجه الطلاب الأربعة حسب بيان صادر عن زملائهم «خسارة عامهم الجامعي، خصوصا أن الامتحانات التي هي نهائية لبعضهم وفصلية للبعض الآخر جرت صباح أمس فيما هم موقوفون من دون أن يتمكنوا من الحضور».
وحسب الأهالي والطلاب فإن حكاية الانترنت والإشكال سببها تعليقات وأحاديث وضعت على موقع «فايس بوك» التي تعود للجامعة اليسوعية.

source

Weird, isn't it?! especially in a country like Lebanon. People can practice their right of free speech in real life more than on the internet? I mean, in Lebanon, you can curse the politicians , and the president himself, and nobody will sue you, simply because this is your opinion and you're free to express it! Lebanon is the country of democracy and freedom of speech, no?
Not anymore!

Expecting (3): The Reaction

2008-01-09T10:40:00.000+04:00

OH MY GOD! My heart sank when I saw the result. I was stunned. didn't know what to do and how to react. The idea didn't really sink in! It was unbelievable! too good to be true!

Once I regained my senses I found myself crying... shedding tears of joy.. a mother? me? I'm not prepared to be a mother! Not here.. not now. I'm completely ignorant when it comes to pregnancy. The idea then freaked me out. MAMA HELP MEEE.

Ammar's reaction , just like mine, shifted from shocked to excited to worried especially that my health started to deteriorate. So, my return to Lebanon was unavoidable, where my mother can take good care of me.

Everybody was extremely happy to hear the news. I can tell that my mother was the most excited of all. Thanks to her, I regained my health, and I'm feeling much better now.

Expecting (2): Not Expecting

2008-01-09T10:30:00.000+04:00

We were not in the least prepared for a big event like this. Thinking of having a baby was to be postponed for about a year due to many reasons. I've always believed that any couple should wait some time before deciding to have children to make sure that they're really getting along so well, and that they're willing and ready to make a happy family together. Secondly, the first year of marriage could be the perfect (and only) chance for newlyweds to enjoy their new life together, go out and travel.. before becoming parents with all the responsibilities to worry about. And finally, in our case, we were not yet sure whether we were going to stay in Turkey or move to another country, so it was important to settle down first before thinking of adding a new member to the family.

Now that it happened, we can't but accept heartily and be very thankful for the gift that God has granted to us.

Expecting (1)

2008-01-07T10:48:00.000+04:00

I had to put an end to all the concerns and doubts that had been haunting me for several days. I must take action immediately! I was very tense but I tried to control my nerves as much as possible. I got dressed.. calmly.. looked at myself in the mirror.. stared into my eyes for a few moments.. looking for an answer to "can this be possible?".. but there weren't any...
I made sure that I had the paper in my pocket... and went out.
I could feel my legs shaking... and my heart was beating so fast that I had to stop, trying again to calm down... took a deep breath and moved on...
I looked around until I caught sight of the place I was looking for "Eczane"*. I walked directly towards it. Hi, would you please give me this? giving the lady the paper with the two Turkish words "Gebelik testi"*. She handed me the thing. Thank you I said. You're welcome :) she replied back. Oh, I don't believe it, finally I found someone who speaks English in this country! I thought to myself.
I hurried back home. Followed the instructions. and to my surprise the result was positive. I am a mother-to-be :)

*pharmacy
*pregnancy test

Getting Married

2008-01-02T22:50:00.000+04:00

I haven't written much here since ever I left Lebanon in July 2007 and went to Jordan to get ready for my wedding that took place there. So, let me , in brief tell you how was it and what happened during that period.
I wasn't very moved on the day I left. My mind was occupied with so many things which left no space for thinking about leaving the country where I lived for 26 years and feel sad about it. Even during my stay in Jordan, I didn't think of Lebanon, I neither missed nor felt nostalgic about anything. I was surrounded by family and relatives...busy with the wedding preparations. An exhausting period, yet it was fun at times.
It's nice to be the center of attention.. the bride who's pampered by everybody. Countless advices fall on you from everywhere and from anyone you meet randomly and finds out that you're a bride to be. You start to become more nervous and restless with each passing day. You feel that time is passing soooo slowwwwly and you wish that you can, by some magical power, make the days run fast and stop at the big day and put an end to all these anxieties.

The big day arrived, finally. I was advised to calm down and sleep well the night before... and I thought that I won't be able to sleep a wink, but since it was a bit difficult for me to believe that my wedding day has arrived, I actually slept!
I sometimes get confused between reality and dreams that I find a difficulty in distinguishing one from the other :D . Someone pinch me please :D
I really needed someone to pinch me the moment I looked at the mirror in the beauty saloon after having my gown and bridal veil on. I couldn't believe that the one I'm looking at in the mirror is ME. Thank God I didn't rub my eyes and spoil the makeup :p

All was like a beautiful dream. We flew to Istanbul afterwards where I spent a delightful time at the beginning before hubby got back to work and only then I started to feel lonely and nostalgic, until I came back to Lebanon this soon for some reasons that you will know soon.

Guess Who's Back

2007-12-30T18:54:00.000+04:00

I was still tossing in my bed in the early morning, when the birds were already awake and singing.. How lovely! I haven't heard birds singing since quite a long time... I opened my eyes to find myself lying on my bed... in my room... in our house in Lebanon. So, it wasn't a dream... I am really here!
I was overwhelmed with joy... hurried to open the window... to watch the birds flying... fill my lungs with fresh air.. and enjoy the beautiful scenery that I missed so much. It feels so great to be back! :)
I'm also back to blog more and tell you more inshallah and of course I'm excited to check your blogs and read your latest news. See ya.

Nostalgia

2007-11-14T20:26:00.000+04:00

When I was a little girl, I had a yellow teddy bear wearing a red overall..and I used to call him Fofo. I don't know when and how did I get it, what I remember is that Fofo was there all the time. At the age of fourteen, as we decided to move to another city, mama gave Fofo - among other things- away without letting me know. When I discovered about it later, it was too late.

Mom thought that I grew too old to care about an old silly teddy bear. My furious reaction surprised her for she had no idea how dear was Fofo to me and how sad losing him made me feel. It's true that I didn't seem to care much about him and I took his presence for granted, but I was really so attached to and so fond of him. The fact that I didn't realize until I lost him.

It's been many years since this happened but I still remember Fofo and miss him.

How many things in our lives, let alone people, do we take for granted and do not appreciate their real value until we lose them? We may not even notice their existence until they're not there anymore.

Have you ever thought that a day will come when you'll miss a pillow, a pen, a notebook, a mirror, a chair, or even a vase?

Has it ever crossed your mind that one day you'll be longing for a certain place, a road, a shop, a cafe, or even a balcony?

Have I ever imagined that someday I was going to miss the taste of our bread, the smell of Mom's coffee, the flavor of a friend's tea, or even the voice of the grocer and the laugh of the hairdresser?

Did I know before that we get attached to "things" and "places" the way we do to humans?

No, not really! It never occured to me that one day I'll look back at these trivial things with nostalgia, and that they'll become an inseparable part of the concept "home", when they were before nothing but normal things and incidents, a part of our daily routine...

Fairouz becomes not only a serence voice that we enjoy listening to in the morning, and in my case at any time of the day. Fairouz's voice becomes equivalent to "home".. it takes you back to familiar places... and brings to mind familiar faces and sounds... laughs and sobs.. beautiful and bitter memories...it arouses a feeling of "belonging" and takes you temporarily back home.

But as you open your eyes, you find yourself in a completely different place... walking down an unfamiliar street in an unfamiliar city... a stranger... surrounded by strangers....

The cold breeze strokes my hair... brings me back to where I really am... and I wonder, why does it have to be this cold here when back home it is still warm? Why can't I see the beauty of this city the way that others see it? Will I ever feel at home in this place? Will I ever miss anything about it if one day I had to leave the way I miss every corner back home? Why does life, when it decides to be generous with us and offer us a valuable thing, deprive us of many others in return? Why can't we have it all at the same time? Man is a greedy creature, isn't he?

The wind gets more chilly... and rain drops start to fall on me... so I decide to walk back home thinking to myself that we must take advantage of every moment we spend with our beloved ones, and in the places that we love, because one day, when we part with them, we'll regret not showing enough care and love to them, just as it happened with me and Fofo.

Why am I not Blogging?

2007-11-11T15:46:00.000+04:00

For those who are asking about me, and wondering where İ've disappeared, i really appreciate it, thank you so much :)

İ'm not blogging for the simple reason that we still don't have internet connection at home. We first had to wait and talk to the landlord who doesn't live in Istanbul about it, and nowadays Ammar is too busy to even scratch his head, as we ,arabs, say.

So, natreen el faraj.

Married life is nice. İt's great to be with the person you love and who loves u back, cares about you and does his best to make you happy. But İ just can't be happy, something is missing. İ feel so homesick and lonely, İ want to go back home :(

İ'm hating this country, and missing my family and friends. İ wish İ can go back to Lebanon as soon as possible.

Just Married

2007-09-01T21:06:00.000+04:00

Hello people, it’s been a long time. I’m blogging from Istanbul where I currently live with my husband. We got married about two weeks ago in Jordan before moving to our new home in Turkey. Istanbul is a beautiful city. I visited many places and took many pictures that I will post soon inshallah. I’m starting to get used to my new life, enjoying it at times, feeling nostalgic at others. What I hate the most about living here is that I do not speak Turkish. I feel like el atrash bil zaffeh and my husband is the only person with whom I can communicate. No job, no friends and no social life. I’m acting like a typical housewife, spending the day in cleaning and cooking. Nothing much ya3ne…

I’ll be back to blogging soon and I’ll reply to the comments later.