Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Eid Venting

Well, honesty speaking, I've always hated Eid, especially here in Lebanon. Although I usually pretend to be happy and excited, greeting everybody, calling and sending messages wishing people a happy eid, knowing deep inside that no "happy" eid is waiting for me.

Unlike Eid in Jordan, in Lebanon it's awful. To me, it signifies nothing but solitude, awakening deep feelings and memories of loneliness and melancholy. I've always spent the Eid lonely, observing people enjoying their time, while I'm not. Actually, I've never felt the real spirit of Eid until I had a chance at a few occasions to spend the Eid holidays in Jordan. Only then, I understood and felt what the two terms "family" and "belonging" mean, which of course only made it even worse for me.

Spending Eid away from our beloved ones is horrible, I'm sure those who live abroad, away from their families know what I am talking about.

Eid in Jordan is a different story, it has a special taste. The spirit of Eid, selat al ra7m, homemade kaak, and the family gatherings, all that haven't faded yet. It's enough for me to see my nephews and nieces wearing new clothes and running around joyfully to feel the sense of Eid atmosphere. I miss all that…
Now all I get is hearing their voices over the phone, gathering, chatting, giggling, and of course blaming me for not coming along.

Throughout my childhood, I used to hate Eid as well. Being the only child here, loneliness used to torture me. No matter how my parents were trying to get the depression out of me during eid by getting me nice stuff and taking me for rides to many places, they haven't succeeded to get me out of the melancholic mood. Until finally, they came up with an idea, they suggested that a friend of mine accompany us and spend sometime with me, hopefully this might help. Actually, it did, only when my friend was available and could come with us.

Gradually, I got used to the idea. I started looking at Eid from a different perspective just to console myself. Eid now has become an opportunity to relax and have some rest at home for a couple of days, eating chocolate and not-homemade kaak :P, it isn't that bad after all...

Now Eid is almost over, tomorrow is another working day, and life goes on...

I hope you all had a joyful eid. :)

4 comments:

SimSim said...

soon u will be among ur own family sweets :hug:

Dar said...

I hate to hear that , 3 years ago i started to hear that alot " i hate eid " especially this year , but the biggest problem is that i started to feel the same too ..... ps : that is not a good news ! hope it will change soon , it should be an eid ! bs in yr case i know its hard to have any feeling of joy since its all about fMily and gathering !

CheeerZ!

Abed. Hamdan said...

I know what you mean, and It's good you found it here. I haven't found it yet, and won't find it any soon, 7amdolellah.

happy Eid :)

Nana said...

Abed, I'm sorry to hear that...

SimSim and Dar, hope u had a happy eid :)