Saturday, May 12, 2007

Let the Rainbow Drops Come Down

The reason I keep changing my blog theme is nothing but a compensation for a hidden feeling of deficiency, it turned out to be.
The destructive feeling of being incapable of controlling my own life, and making some changes finds a way out in enjoying the simple delights of changing minor things like hair cut, hair color, perfumes, clothes.., and of course changing the blog’s theme and colors that proved to be the best option for being the easiest and the least costly of all :D

“You should have studied graphic design” a couple of people pointed out. True! I should have been a graphic designer, a nutritionist, a makeup artist, a fashion designer, a jewelry designer, or even a painter. I see myself as one of these, but never as a teacher. This is one of the things that I’ve been seeking to change, and not succeeding at it feels so bad.

I cannot change my past, and I feel helpless about the present, have no idea about the future.. whether the next step that I’m going to take will do some change, if the track I’m going to walk will be the right one for me.. or as usual it will turn out to be the wrong one. I hope not. The light of hope within me hasn’t faded yet despite the many storms that went by.
Speaking of hope, I once read that hope is nothing but a synonym of “deceit”. The more we hope, the more we deceive and disillusion ourselves. I read that at a time when I needed so much hope and I felt like a thirsty person who has just been robbed the last and the only drop of water he was counting on to stay alive.
I'm back, I have a lot of things to say.. but I'll stop here for now.
For a change, tulips are no more here, it's time for rainbow drops. I need some colors in my life :)


Anonymous said...

You have a beautiful taste, so keep changing as much as you like because we are enjoying it too..

What u are feeling is similar to what we all experience at one point or another: frustration..I wish I can change my past, my present or at least see what the future hold..One can hope for the best and keep going..Am sure your future will be as colorful as your pages. No advice or anything you read will be able to tell you if you are doing the right thing, all you need to do is just listen to this inner voice, and it will lead you...As for "changing minor things" to feel in control,I did it to my hair,I will post the story and laugh about it :))

Diana said...

Ok, let's face it. Frustration is the word..
Thanks Noura, will be waiting for the story :)

Oriental Arabesque said...

i always like the themes and colors you pick for your blog...very nice taste :)

Hala said...

I am in love with your themes, you really do have some great taste.

The new one is so very fresh :)

Welcome back *hug*

Hala said...

By the way, I was planning on posting something about colors in our lives. And you just inspired me with your take on Hope/Deceit. I have to write about it ;)

SimSim said...

i love ur themes and ur taste but this is not the issue .... what u said suits me .... sometimes I search for hope in every thing but I fail to find it .... i punish my self for not believing in anything

ana 3arfeh i hope we know the future

Mnoosh said...

I like this theme, but not the reason for choosing it :ag:

mn emta w eshams ter2a3na :D? 2atharet 3leke samsom??

u were always the one who makes the blogsphere full of romantic & hope, & u'll stay like this ;) i'm sure u CAN do :)

inshallah kol ayameek alwan o 7ob o romanceyeh :hug:

Diana said...

Thanx guys :)
غيمة وبتمرق