Thursday, January 15, 2009

Gazan Mothers, My Heart Goes Out to You


I was expecting visitors on that day.. I was alone, busy, cleaning, preparing food, and baking some sweets... moving from a room to another, and of course having Kareem with me wherever I go.. I went to the living room, carrying my baby in his carrycot, when suddenly the handle of the carrycot was unlocked and Kareem was there... lying on the floor...screaming like crazy...

I couldn't believe that this was really happening... I must be dreaming... it must be the worst nightmare ever!

I rushed to hold him... to check whether he was hurt or not... I could see nothing, no bruises, no blood, but he was crying so hard. My heart almost stopped. I was shaking all over, my tears were falling down my face... and I could barely speak when I called my husband asking him to come home IMMEDIATELY. I was in Abu Dhabi, and he in Dubai, and I wanted him to come immediately, lol
He tried to calm me down so that he can understand what happened, meanwhile Kareem was starting to calm down in his turn until his crying stopped. Minutes later he started acting normally, but I was not, was still worried, overwhelmed with grief, anxiety, pain and guilt, kissing and hugging him passionately, and repeating to myself, I will never forgive myself, I will never forgive myself, it's all my fault, I will never forgive myself
Back to my senses, I found myself soaking wet. Kareem was staring at me in surprise maybe wondering why was I crying. I made a phone call apologizing to the guests that I won't be able to receive them. To make the story short, when Ammar came home, we took Kareem to the doctor who assured us that there was nothing wrong with him, thank God. But still, I will never forgive myself .

This happened like a month ago, and every time I try to blog about it, I get so emotional, delete what I typed and abandon the whole idea.

The emotional impact of this incident was so overwhelming. It is so hard for a mother to see her baby hurt, not even a bit, or to hear him crying in pain.

Now watching what's going on in Gaza, the 315+ children who were killed, and the hundreds or thousands others who were badly injured, burned, or lost their limbs, I can't really imagine how would their mothers be feeling now. I just can't! If I went through all this torture when my baby fell and wasn't a bit hurt, what are these mothers going through now????
I'm all out of words!













6 comments:

MommaBean said...

I remember the first time ButterBean had a fall (off my bed no less). It's horrifying. Like you, my mother's heart cries for all those mothers in Gaza.

Wedad said...

الله يصبرهم إيش الواحد بده يحكي

Diana said...

indeed it is MommaBean :(. sounds like this happens to most babies.


Weddo: amen to that...

Sam said...

ziad rolled over the bed in a hotel when he was 5mo old...to make it worse the steel crib was on that side of the bed and he hit it...we ran to the emergency at the hospital..thankfully we were in the middle of no where colorado and it was empty...he had a bruised nose and cheeck...but was ok otherwise...i still feel bad about...my heart goes out to the parents in gaza..i cant even imagine how hard it is to watch your children die..they r so strong...i do not think i'd be able to live one day without my kids...alla ysaberhom ya rab...

Diana said...

Ohh Sam, I'm sorry to know that you too went through this!
and amen to that

zeinah said...

i really cried when i read ur writing ... i remeber all things happened to me in the war ..all the saddest monments return to my brain while iam reading