On Envy

It's strange to find that many people, including educated ones, still live under the influence of certain beliefs and myths that control their thoughts and actions. Many forms of superstitions that I thought were forgotten and buried long time ago apparently continue to exist. Believing in bad omens and evil eye and putting the blame on them when bad things happen are unfortunately still widespread among us.

A friend who was "obviously" pregnant denied this fact out of fear of "envy"! She aborted twice before and thought that letting people know that she's expecting a baby is a "bad omen". So, she chose to hide the fact, but her growing abdomen was definitely difficult to hide!
Many people actually prefer to withhold or lie about many things even if these things were well known to others, thus make fools of themselves and show to what extent they are obsessed of the idea of envy and evil eye.

Of course I cannot deny that envy can harm us. Allah(SWT) says (what means): "And from the evil of the envier when he envies." and Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) said, “The effect of an evil eye is a fact.” But, it is also believed that the evil eye can never harm us unless God wills so. Hence, lying, fearing , and being way obsessed with el 7asad is unjustified. God protects and supports us if we were good believers.

What astonishes me is that many people find in "envy" an excuse to justify their misdeeds ... to not face their failures and simply relate them to 7asad. "I've been envied" is the pretext given.. A couple may find in"We've been envied" an easy getaway from confronting their problems and their faults and try to fix things up. A cowardly attitude that I strongly detest.

So, what I mean to say here is that I do not stand against people who believe in envy because I am one of them, it's those who are incapable of facing reality and facts, and admit their own faults, and always trying to shift responsibility for all the bad things that happen to them onto "envy", "bad luck", or "the black cat that passed by them that morning :D".

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

Not constantly complaining doesn’t indicate that you have a trouble-free life. Answering “I’m fine” when people ask “what’s the matter” doesn’t mean that you really are. Pretending that it’s no more than a little headache -when they persist- doesn’t necessarily mean that you are saying the truth.

The point is that I try to refrain from bothering people with my concerns, bearing in mind that each one of us already has his share of worries and troubles, and there’s no point of adding to them.

The problem is that some people are not aware of this fact. They think that the only purpose of my existence in this life is to listen to their unbearable whining over and over and over.. to serve them and help them out at any time they want.. not taking into consideration whether I'm ready or not, whether I'm really able to listen/help or not. They just don't care!
I'd rather take care of my own problems, yet I find myself stuck in solving theirs. They mess up their lives, keep on doing stupid things.. and run to you for help, fill your world with nag nag nag until your head explodes. What's worse is that they're too dump to learn from their mistakes, and you are the nice friend/sister/whatever who will never turn them down no matter what they did until the end of time. They keep flooding one's mind with horrible thoughts until you can take it no more and you end up dragged to the abyss of melancholy and despair .. you become the one who needs help.

I'm so unfortunate that I have in my life many people who are too selfish, reckless, and dependent that they can never think of solving their own problems without getting others involved... those while sinking grasp your hand so tight to make you sink with them...

I've always tried to be a good friend, a good listener who's always there to help. BUT I HATE the feeling of being used! I hate it when I discover that some people never really cared about me, they only show up whenever they need something, they only call not to ask about you but to ask you to do them some favor. I realized that I spent or wasted - to be more exact- a good part of my life worrying about others and paying for their mistakes! WHAT THE HELL?!! WHY??!! While no one, absolutely no one deserves a single sacrifice. From now on, I'll work on how to be selfish and careless and mind my own business, I'll learn how to say: "NO", "Leave me alone!", and "It's all your fault, you take care of it!". And not only that, I've decided to cut these annoying people out of my life and I started to apply the decision already. Man, Life looks much brighter without them already! Pheeewww!
We only live once and I want to live a happy life.. the way I want it to be.. not the way they turned it into.
You're miserable? OK Fine! Why make the people around you as miserable as you are and turn their lives into a living hell?!

I'm not posting this to say that I'm a nice caring person, this post is more like a wake-up call..to remind myself of how STUPID I've been.
Oh and I've just noticed that I was whining about whining :D

On Raising Kids

This post was supposed to be a part of a previous one (The Miraculous Slap), but due to the fact that most of you hate to read very long posts, just like myself, I decided to post them separately.

Once, we were expecting guests who, for some reason, are considered important, and we were supposed to act nicely and make a good impression.

So, on that day, I volunteered to take care of cleaning and tidying up the house, which is something I rarely do being the spoiled child I am :p

The visitors were nice, if only they haven't brought their LOVELY kids with them.
For shortly after their arrival, the tidy and clean house turned out into a big messy jungle with cookies smashed on the floor, nuts thrown everywhere, and candies spitted on the carpet… and the kids running around, playing with anything their eyes lay on, screaming loudly whenever their mom tries to stop them and end up begging them to stop screaming and leave them to resume the mess party that they were apparently enjoying and getting mad at anyone who tried to interrupt it!

Seeing all that mess around, and the effort and time I spent cleaning the house all going in vain, I struggled to smother my anger, and prayed that the visit ends soon before I lose my temper and act rudely with the people we're supposed to make a good impression on, and who made a very bad one.

For God's sake, can't they have a little control over their own kids' behavior?!!! Eno mish la hal darajeh people spoil their kids to the extent that they embarrass them like that!!

A conversation between me and Mom after they "finally" left:

Me: You know Mom, if I ever had kids like those, I'd rather kill myself, or kill them!
Mom: LOL, God forbids, you won't have such kids inshallah.
Me: Why are people raising their kids like that? Why this too much spoiling? And why are parents so concerned that their kids don't get upset and leave them do the hell they want? If only they leave them to me for a couple of days, I'll make them yemsho 3al 3ajeen ma yla5ba6ohoosh.

Mom: I think you are referring to the kid you slapped, aren't you? It's true that sometimes beating may work, but it's always the last resort. Children can be well raised without being necessarily beaten, not even for once!

Me: Elaborate plz!

Mom: Take you as an example; you were never beaten up, yet, you have never embarrassed me in front of people. (Nana has her nose raised and smiles proudly :p) When the child is being taught good manners, and being told what's right and what's wrong since his early years, he will automatically starts to behave politely and considerately. Children have to know that there's al thawab w al 3eqab, they certainly cannot be left to act as they like.

Me: I wish that all people understand what you are saying and implement it. If you only see how children at school threaten us with their parents, eno they will tell them that we, teachers, did or said so and so… They know perfectly well that their stupid parents will defend them no matter what they did, not knowing that by this they are doing harm to their children. Whenever a student is yelled at he threatens: I will tell mama/baba. Ay 6oz feek w bi mama w baba!!!

It was just yesterday when a 4th grader said to a teacher: "you are a*ra m3almeh bil denya." just because the teacher was asking her repeatedly to pay attention and stop wasting her time.

That kid has never insulted me directly and he earned a slap, had he utter such a word to me I'll probably throw him from the nearest window! I can't tolerate impoliteness AT ALL.

I still remember that Grandma Allah yer7ama told us once about a man who wrote on his son's evaluation card as the parents notes:
أرجو قتله، أرجو ذبحه، أرجو القضاء عليه
I remember how we burst out laughing then as we heard this.

Just notice the difference between how parents used to raise their kids in the past, and how they are raising them now. And people are wondering why this generation is so spoiled, self-indulgent, inconsiderate, disrespectful, and lack the least of responsibility and manners.

I'm not calling for beating up children, or deal with them very strictly, but at least to teach them differenciate between the good and the bad, what can be done and what can't...

I'm calling people to STOP OVER SPOILING their kids and just be modrate!

Releasing some Anger

Disclaimer: this post is full of hatred, and Nana is mad, fed up and needs to let out; but I guarantee that she will feel much better after this :)

- I hate it when people (whoever these people are) interfere in my life and tell me what to do and what not to do. People, I do not interfere in your lives, so leave mine alone!
- I hate it when I'm being nice to people, and instead of appreciating it, they become more and more demanding thinking that being nice is equivalent to being weak and not able to say NO!
- I hate it when I kindly ask people not to do "that" again, and they do not respect what I asked for, and keep on doing "that" over and over.
- I hate it when I "kindly" ask people not to talk about a certain subject with me anymore, and they simply ignore this request, and keep on talking about the same thing, over and over and over and over…. Until I find myself obliged to ask them "unkindly" to shut the hell up!
To me, not respecting my wishes means not respecting me, and the last thing I'd like to do is to deal with someone who do not show respect to me.
- I hate it when people do not treat me the same way I treat them.
- I hate it when people make a comic or a joke out of or in serious situation, or when I'm not in the mood to accept silly jokes about serious matters and they "think" they are being funny, be5afefo dam ya3ny. I hate it when people do not differenciate between el maze7 wel jad.
- I hate it when people turn everything even serious and "sensitive" matters to silly jokes. We definitely cannot make fun of anything. There are redlines that are supposed to be respected.
- I hate it when people while thinking that they're being funny and cool, hurt others with their uncalled for comments and childishness.
- I hate it when people know that what they're saying is hurting or irritating me, and yet keep on saying it.
- I hate excessive nagging, I can hear you once, twice, and thrice, but repeating the same old symphony of nagging about the same things over and over, and do nothing but nag nag nag is absolutely very irritating and unbearable. It's like blowing the balloon until it explodes.
- I hate silly, tasteless and meaningless comments, and talking just for the heck of talking even if it was nothing but nonsense. If you have something good to say, go ahead, otherwise spare people your ridiculousness and remain quiet!
- I hate moodiness, when you're not in a good mood spare people your rudeness by avoiding them instead of asking them to avoid you.
- I hate it when people are being selfish that when they feel bad make everyone around them feel the same way. Eza ento mnakadeen there's no need to tnakdo 3ala el nas kaman. El wa7ad mish na2soh w kol wa7ad hammoh mkafeeh! I hate el nakad wel nekdeen, eftttt!
- I hate to listen to pessimistic people who keep talking and nagging about how unlucky they are and how life is treating them badly, ignoring the fact that in life there are ups and downs, and only weak people and losers give up and lose hope.
- I hate e7sasless people who make fun of emotional situations by their silly usual comment: "We Know Drama!"
- I hate arrogance.
- I hate it when people arrange appointments and take decisions without referring to me, not taking into consideration whether this suits me or not, what's important is to suit them! And then surprise me that "a meeting will be held tomorrow", or "hello, I'm coming along, I have nothing to do today", tayeb what if I have?!!! Duh!
- I hate it when people visit me with no previous note, especially when I'm busy and have some plans to do, and end up canceling them because of this sudden visit.
- I hate it when a friend miscalls me expecting me to call her back, when she is the one who needs to talk to me, and yet she's saving her credit for calling her boyfriend.
- I hate it when people do not understand from the first, second, or even tenth time that I'm not really interested.
- I hate pushy people.
- I hate it when people insist on me to eat something, or stay for lunch, dinner or whatever. 3alayee el 6ala2 la tetghadoo 3inna.
- I hate it when people keep blaming me for not calling or visiting them whenever they see me, and when I roll my eyes at them explaining how busy and tired I am w mish fadyeh lal zyarat w el 7aky el fady, they reply: sorry bas maho el 3atab 3ala 2ad el ma7abeh.
- I hate it when I get continuously interrupted when talking about something important or explaining the lesson.
- I hate rude people, I hate to be rude myself, and I hate it when people force me to be rude.
- I hate it when I go somewhere, spend much time looking for a parking, not find one and end up going back home.
- I hate it when some people call or show up only when they have a favor to ask me for.
- I hate it when people do not carry with them their necessities, like some girl I know who never carries napkins not even when she has flue, and keeps begging people for napkins.
- I hate it when people use my stuff without asking me first
- I hate it when people become slaves to superstition and base their lives and actions on bad omens and good ones.
- I hate it when people become followers, robots, take everything for granted without thinking.
- I hate blind nationalism.
- I hate it when someone while trying disparately to forget about and get over a bad phase of his life, people keep talking about it and remind him of his pain and the bad times he went through.
- I hate it when I spend sometime writing a long reply or post, and suddenly either the connection or the electricity goes down.
- I hate el mfalsafeen, those who complicate things and make big deals out of nothing.
- I hate artificial beauty, contact lenses, and plastic surgeries.
- I hate it when the principal passes by just right at the moment I am scolding or yelling at the kids.
- I hate chatting and long phone calls.
- I hate it when I follow my intuition, and my intuition deceives me. I hate being disappointed.
- I hate it when I see that an ugly man with a big belly and a 9al3a, and who's far away from being elegant is being very picky, wants his wife to be perfect, and keeps buzzing her to watch out her weight and appearance.
- I hate stupidity; stupid people make me want to pull my hair out.
- I hate dealing with people who lack courtesy and etiquette.

Wow, what a relief! Now I feel much better! Yuppyyyy!

Types of "friends"

• those who remember your existence only when they need you. At other times you are totally being ignored.
  
• those who make your personal life the talk of the town.
• those who envy you and end up hating your guts.
  
• those who hate you for being honest and to the point, they don't want their wrong doings to be pointed out.
• those who let you down from the first misunderstanding.
  
• those who hurt you and expect you to get over it, as if nothing had happened.
• and those who change friends like they change shoes, they leave you once they find new company to hang out with.

sorry about the title, these people were never friends, and will never be...

some people...

are just like :

...

Since the kids left, and there's nothing important to do at school other than chatting, discussing stupid domestic affairs in which I'm not in the least interested, I decided to kill time by reading.
I, while reading "The Zahir" - as u can see in the sidebar- got so indulged in the book that I no longer can hear their voices or follow up with their conversation.

Suddenly, a mate teacher asked: "What are you doing?"

I paused for a moment not believing that she's just asked a stupid question like that.

Me: "reading." obviously (DUH!!!).

She: "What for?"

Me: "HUH??"

She: "Is that an English book you're reading? Listen, why don't you just try to browse the dictionary everyday and learn a few new words instead of wasting your time reading books?"

She was so full of herself, proudly saying that "crap" thinking that she's just came up with the smartest idea ever, and I believe expecting me to give her thanks for this brilliant idea.


Me: "And who said that I'm reading this book to learn new vocabulary?!!!"

She: "Oh, really? What for then?"

I was shocked enough and too astonished to give her an answer. I wanted to say something rude, like : "your question is too stupid to be answered", but thank God, I was saved by another teacher who simply said:

"some people enjoy reading, it's an interest, a hobby, you can call it a habit. It's not necessarily to learn something new ".

"Oh, OK, I got it".

"Thank God u did!!"

The Lebanese have Knafeh for Breakfast

The Jordanians have always showed their surprise from two things the Lebanese people eat: Knafeh sandwich, if we can call it so, and raw meat (Kebbeh Nayyeh).

They can hardly believe that ,here in Lebanon, we have Knafeh for breakfast or even for dinner as a main meal and not as a dessert, after the Knafeh is put in a special peice of bread, we call it Ka3ket Knafeh.

Those who visited Lebanon must have seen this, but mostly didn't like the idea and didn't think of trying it. And those who heard about it find it strange and almost unbelievable.

I haven't eaten Knafeh since maybe a year, I usually don't like to eat sweets in the morning, but today, I passed by the sweets shop and had one.

Ka3ket Knafeh

after the first two bites

Mom's

You have to try it, believe me.

Kiss my hand!

Among the troops who came to "take a look" at me during my first visit to Jordan in the year 2001, there was the Shiekh of the family or the tribe who honoured me by his unexpected visit, for I was the one who's supposed to go to introduce myself to him in his place out of respect to his age and rank, but apparently, he, like many others, couldn't wait to see this alien coming from Mars, oh I mean from Lebanon, to meet her family for the first time.

They announced the arrival of the Sheikh who happens to be my father's uncle, and at the moment people caught sight of him, young and old, they hurried to greet him and kiss his hand.

Since he was asking about me, looking at faces and trying to find where his "sweet granddaughter" is, I came to him introducing myself, and he in his turn offered me his hand to be kissed!

I turned a confused look at my brother "what???? Am I supposed to kiss HIS hand as well?!!", and my brother was like "Oh God, just do it! ma tefda7eena!!".

and I looked like : "what the heck? No I'm not going to do it! Never!"

I simply shook his hand, and asked him to take a seat. Our Sheikh couldn't hide his shock from the fact that a member of the family did not kiss his hand, and I bet that he felt insulted or even humiliated!

I've always hated this habit. I've never kissed my father's hand, and I do kiss my mother's only when trying to caress her or something, but she hates it and always asks me not to do it again.

In Jordan, I noticed that everybody kisses the hands of his mother, father, aunt, uncle, grandfather, grandmother and any old person in the family.

I'm not totally against it, as I said I do kiss my mother's hand, but never will I kiss my aunt's or uncle's or some Sheikh's hand. It's just I found it a bit strange for I'm not used to it.

I yelled at my nephew once when he tried to kiss my hand and I warned him from doing it again. I can't imagine myself when I get older to be offering my hand to people to kiss it.

Still, I won't mind my future husband kissing my hand for sure :$, LOL.

Only Venting...

I've never been able to find out a way on how to deal with impolite people, young and old.
It's not as simple as "why to deal with them in the first place", cuz sometimes u just have to, they exist in your life against your will...

Now that they exist, u have to accommodate urself with it and try to figure out the best way to handle it. Being not that social, neither that expert in dealing with different kinds of humans, make it much harder on u to do so.

For me, as a teacher, my ultimate suffering lies in dealing with "impolite" students who lack the slightest hint of grace and manners, and show no sign of concern and responsibility. These "mafa3ee9" manage to spoil my whole day and to get on my last nerve while trying desperately to make them behave and show some concern and respect!

I've tried hard to find the secret weapon that would solve all my problems with these guys, but in vain. Nothing is working with me, neither being good nor being harsh, absolutely nothing!

I rest my case..

sigh

the new generation...

Kids never cease to amaze me. The way they act, talk, look at matters, the way they imitate grownups is really astonishing!

The scene I witnessed today was a miniature of what happened in Al Ashrafeyeh a few days ago. The same scenario, same words, same actions, but this time the demonstrators were only kids.

A bunch of kids who were waiting in the street for buses to carry them home and who seem to be very moved with what they were watching on TV during the past few days, decided to express their feelings in their own way.

The target was a deserted house, which was supposed to resemble the Danish embassy. The kids were to attack the embassy (the deserted house) trying to break into it, throwing stones at the windows, and shouting: la elaha ella allah, mo7ammad rasool allah. A few others were carrying sticks with which they were slightly hitting a few cars.

I really really couldn’t believe my eyes, the scene was so depressing, I stood there speechless, trying to figure out what on earth was going on, and how can kids be so affected and influenced by what they see.

At that moment, I couldn’t but call to mind the novel Lord of the Flies (The book describes in detail the horrific exploits of a band of young children who make a striking transition from civilized to barbaric. Lord of the Flies commands a pessimistic outlook that seems to show that man is inherently tied to society, and without it, we would likely return to savagery.)

I also remembered a quote I once came across and I think is very true: The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any!
Peace..

I don't like you anymore!

How often does this happen to u? to stop liking someone u used to like?!well, lately I suddenly noticed that I stopped liking so many people. a considerable number of relatives and friends! :O

I pondered for a while, and discovered that maybe I don't like them in the first place, what I used to do was mere wasting time and "mojamalat" to which i decided to put an end.

At first, I felt a bit guilty, I felt mean, but when I come to think about it, I know that this is the right decision to take, and the right thing to do. Why do we have to force ourselves to to spend time with ppl we do not like, about whom we find nothing interesting, nothing's common between us and them for the only reason that they exist in our life against our will, and we have to take their existence for granted?!

Why don't we free ourselves from all these social obligations and hypocrisy. Why don't we act spontaneously without being obliged to stand some ppl we do not like being with? and on the other hand spend more time with those we like.

so, u and u and u, I don't like u anymore! Would u plz stay away from me?

sounds mean right? naa, am not gonna do that, just make them feel it without having to be rude :$ :P

and they're kids....

I've never thought that kids can be this understanding and caring. What happened recently got me astonished!

Tota, as his classmates like to call him, has just joined school after staying at home (due to a serious surgery) for three months. Tawfeeq is the twin sister of Aya, my 6 years old pupil in grade 1. Aya is a cute normal girl, while Tota was unlucky enough to be born physically deformed (having MPS* to be exact). The boy is no taller than 60 or 70 cm. He is not allowed to go by any chance to the playground so that the pupils would not stumble by him and cause him any harm.

The way his classmates deal with him is unbelievable. We were worried that they may laugh at him, or hurt his feelings in any way. What surprises us is the concern and the care they show to him. They treat him as a baby, and rush to help him. in brief, he is now the pampered kid of the class.

I remember a time ago seeing grownups laughing at a passerby physically deformed man. That's why these kids impressed me.
and they say they're kids...



*The mucopolysaccharidoses are a group of inherited diseases in which a defective or missing enzyme causes large amounts of complex sugar molecules to accumulate in harmful amounts in the body's cells and tissues. This accumulation causes permanent, progressive cellular damage that affects appearance, physical abilities, organ and system functioning, and, in most cases, mental development. Depending on the type of mucopolysaccharidosis, affected individuals may have normal intellect or may be profoundly retarded, may experience developmental delay, or have severe behavioral problems. Physical symptoms generally include coarse or rough facial features, thick lips, an enlarged mouth and tongue, short stature with a disproportionately short trunk (dwarfism), abnormal bone size or shape (and other skeletal irregularities), thickened skin, enlarged organs such as the liver or spleen, hernias, and excessive body hair growth.

The Kingdom of Hypocrisy

The best name that i find most suitable for the school I work at is "The Kingdom of Hypocrisy."
The principal is hence, its queen, "the queen of hypocrisy". I've never seen in my whole life, someone more hypocrite and mean than her. All what she cares about is money, and the parents' satisfaction, even though if WE had to lie at them, and pretend continuously how great their kid is, whether academically or morally.
The more u lie, the more she likes and cherishes u. Your success and continuity as a teacher depends on how hypocrite u can be. This is going way too much, too much to be tolerated!
I wonder for how long can I stay there, a place I can never stay at for long, ppl I can never stand! I may explode in her face at any moment. I am definitely, totally, absolutely against this Goddamn policy!
Allah ymare2 hal seneh 3ala kheir.