Mothers and Babies

I came across the following funny post and thought of sharing it with you :D

Your Clothes
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

Preparing for the Birth
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time,breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.

The Layette
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

Worries
1st baby: At the first sign of distress-a whimper, a frown-you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing

Pacifier
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

Diapering
1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

Going Out
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

At Home
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

Back Off by Duha

woops, I mean btetloj el deni by Duha :D

Kids and Math

•The kids were supposed to write numbers in letters, one of them wrote the following:

23: twenty three
67: sixty seven
34: thirty four
11: onety one
12: onety two
13: onety three
14: onety four

•Another one was asked to count from zero to twenty:
zero-one-two.....ten-eleven-twelve...fifteen-sixteen (short pause) saba3teen, tamanteen, tese3teen...

These incidents happened two years ago, for those who heard about them before you better pretend that you never did and laugh all over again!

متفرقات مدرسية

مفهوم الوقت عند الأطفال

مس مس هيدا هوي بعد شوي خربشلي عكتابي:X

إيمتى خربشلك عكتابك؟:N

بعد شوي:X

لأ االهيئة في عنا مشكله ،الولد عم بضيّع، لازم نلاقيله حل

تعا لهون، ليش خربشتله عكتابه؟:N

ما هو كمان بكرة ضربني:Y

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أحمد والتاندالو

أحمد: يااااااااي ثو حلو، مث ليتي هيتا تاندالو

المس: (يا ربي شو عم بقول هالولد حدا يترجملي)، شو قلت يا أحمد؟

أحمد: هوني عالتتاب في تاندالو حلو تتيل، ثوفي

المس:( يا إما أنا بطلت أسمع، أو إنو هالولد عم يحكي لغة غريبة) تعا لعندي يا أحمد لشوف، مش شايفة

إجا أحمد وهو منشكح، وإذ به عم بأشرلي على صورة كانغارو

Kids!

حسن: ضحـــــى رح سبّقك

!ضحى: المش قالت ما تبلشو قبل ما تكتبو أشاميكن، إنت ما كتبت إشمك بعد

...حسن: هلأ بكتبه

!ضحى: أشلن أشلن إشم حشن مش حلو بالمرة

...حسن: مسسسسسسسس هيدي ضحى

ضحى بتحط إيدا على تمه: لااااء، عم بمجح معك كنت، أشلن إشم حشن كتيــــر حلو، إشم ضحى هو اللي مش حلو

(المس بتحاول تكتم ضحكة، وبتعمل حالا مش شايفة ولا سامعة شي)

!حسن: إي، إسم ضحى مش حلو بالمرة

...ضحى بتسرح وبتفكر وبتكتب وبتمحي.. وبعد شوي

ضحى: ميــش يا مش بدي قلك شي

المس (حضرة جنابي): خير يا ضحى شو فيه؟

ضحى: بدي وشوشك... ما بقى تناديلي ضحى، أنا غيرت إشمي، شار إشمي شامية، بش مش عم بعرف كيف بكتبه، كيف بيكتبو إشم شامية؟!

Quote of the Day

“Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.”

Man, I like that!

أحزان شجر البطاطا

Wait a minute, a7zan shajar el ba6a6a? what is that supposed to mean? The title made me think that I'm hallucinating or something. It's very funny :D

I stumbled across a7zan shajar el ba6a6a and I wondered how did you came out with this title Sharifo? What were you thinking?

and yet another funny blog, hilarious tags, check it out.

لبنة - حمص - مخلل - فول - فلافل - بريق شاي - ملبس علوز
etc...

Yes people, these are tags/labels/categories :D

thanx for the laugh guys.

One of ma FafoLite Th.tutent.th

Ahmad, one of my favorite students.




:Translation
تفاحتي تفاحتي خدها أحمل (أحمر)
تفاحتي تفاحتي تأمها (طعمها) ثـتــّل (سكّر)

This guy is one of the cutest, most babyish kids I've ever taught :D. Everyday, he makes me laugh my guts out. The way he talks is hilarious, I don't remember that I ever taugh someone who talks like babies, and still has difficulty in pronouncing some letters.

-dod moLnink teat.theL (good morning teacher)
-Mith, May I do to da batLoom? (miss, may I go to the bathroom?)
-May I dLink? (drink)
-gLeen (green)
-Led (red)
-oTay (Okay).

isn't he cute?

A Portrait of Me

In case you ever wondered how does Nana look like.

I forgot something.. a very big thing...

Today my friends reminded me of something stupid I did last year. They were talking about bad memory and how people who work as teachers lose their minds gradually supporting this notion with proves and real stories.

So, each teacher, in her turn, told us about something crazy she did, the stories were hilarious and we laughed our guts out.

One teacher always forgets stuff at different places and runs back to get them, and another who while driving her car stopped suddenly thinking that she forgot the keys "of the car" at home looool, imagine this, she IS driving the car and she thought that she forgot the keys at home and hence has to go back to get them!!

Anyway, wait till you hear my story.

Last year, I used to go to school by bus. One day, I had to go to the Jordanian Embassy in Baabda to get a new passport. So, I went by my car and headed afterwards to the school. When the bell of the last period rang, I, as am used to do every day, went directly to the bus. On the way, while me and the teachers were talking about our school day, "nagging" to be more precise, I had a feeling that I forgot something at school, and I tried to remember what would it be, hoping that it's not something important so that it can wait till the next day, when suddenly I shouted: MY CAR, I FORGOT MY CAR AT SCHOOL!!

I couldn't believe that I did, neither they could.They stared at me for a moment and then burst out laughing, because one can forget anything but to forgot his car, that was very stupid

I asked the driver to pull over, and I had to walk back to get my car. When I arrived home, and told my mother what happened, she started lamenting for her only daughter was losing her mind

eeeeeeeeeh, teachers!

bird flue hit Jordan

LOL, that was really funny!