Walla3at

What's happening is so sad..so dangerous... so heart aching... so pathetic...

Don't tell me it's not a civil war yet. IT IS! It's even the worst form of wars, when neighbours, brothers and schoolmates start killing each other. Two at least were killed today and more than 25 hurt in the clash that happened at Beirut Arab University.

Snipers started to gather on the buildings roofs, the scene that brings to mind a sad stage from the Lebanese history...the sad experience from which they did not learn. History is repeating itself...

Watching them throwing stones at each other, one thinks for a second that what he's watching is a clash between Palestinians and Israelis, before he realizes that this violence is taking place in nowhere else but Beirut.

One drives in the streets of Lebanon where tanks and hundreds of soldiers are scattered everywhere, he feels that he is literally living in a state of war. The soldiers are there to make you feel secure but their mere presence brings nothing but feelings of insecurity.

You have to keep in touch with the family since the moment you leave the house in the early morning until you come back home in the afternoon. "sho mama, wein serti? Is everything OK?", "Yes Mom don't worry, everything seems to be calm, I'm about to arrive, I'll call you once I get there", "Mama 7abeebti don't go from that road on your way back, they say that there's a big fight there, take the other one , keep me in touch and stay safe" w 3ala hal 7al all day long...

Our hearts are squeezed. We are sad, depressed, living under enormous pressure, pain and melancholy, stressed, lost, terrified, pessimistic... and so many mixed feelings... I'm finding a difficulty to find the right words to describe.