Not constantly complaining doesn’t indicate that you have a trouble-free life. Answering “I’m fine” when people ask “what’s the matter” doesn’t mean that you really are. Pretending that it’s no more than a little headache -when they persist- doesn’t necessarily mean that you are saying the truth.The point is that I try to refrain from bothering people with my concerns, bearing in mind that each one of us already has his share of worries and troubles, and there’s no point of adding to them.
The problem is that some people are not aware of this fact. They think that the only purpose of my existence in this life is to listen to their unbearable whining over and over and over.. to serve them and help them out at any time they want.. not taking into consideration whether I'm ready or not, whether I'm really able to listen/help or not. They just don't care!
I'd rather take care of my own problems, yet I find myself stuck in solving theirs. They mess up their lives, keep on doing stupid things.. and run to you for help, fill your world with nag nag nag until your head explodes. What's worse is that they're too dump to learn from their mistakes, and you are the nice friend/sister/whatever who will never turn them down no matter what they did until the end of time. They keep flooding one's mind with horrible thoughts until you can take it no more and you end up dragged to the abyss of melancholy and despair .. you become the one who needs help.
I'm so unfortunate that I have in my life many people who are too selfish, reckless, and dependent that they can never think of solving their own problems without getting others involved... those while sinking grasp your hand so tight to make you sink with them...
I've always tried to be a good friend, a good listener who's always there to help. BUT I HATE the feeling of being used! I hate it when I discover that some people never really cared about me, they only show up whenever they need something, they only call not to ask about you but to ask you to do them some favor. I realized that I spent or wasted - to be more exact- a good part of my life worrying about others and paying for their mistakes! WHAT THE HELL?!! WHY??!! While no one, absolutely no one deserves a single sacrifice. From now on, I'll work on how to be selfish and careless and mind my own business, I'll learn how to say: "NO", "Leave me alone!", and "It's all your fault, you take care of it!". And not only that, I've decided to cut these annoying people out of my life and I started to apply the decision already. Man, Life looks much brighter without them already! Pheeewww!
We only live once and I want to live a happy life.. the way I want it to be.. not the way they turned it into.
You're miserable? OK Fine! Why make the people around you as miserable as you are and turn their lives into a living hell?!
I'm not posting this to say that I'm a nice caring person, this post is more like a wake-up call..to remind myself of how STUPID I've been.
Oh and I've just noticed that I was whining about whining :D
8 comments:
This is my first time here.. and I like it :D
Well to be honest, im one of those who feels better when I let it all out, and there's no one to help me in doing this and get over things more than my friends.. but what I usually do is that after Im over it, or half over it, i just think and say.. oh that's enough, no more Dima's time.. it's time for you! and then I'd say.. let's go out tomorrow to have 'a mais -that's my best friend- time'.. or a 'nancy time'.. :)! it would be so sweet.. i guess!
Hey Dima! I've been visiting your blog lately and enjoying reading it, even though not leaving comments.
I perfectly understand what you're talking about, that's what healthy relationships among friends should be like.and not "giving everything" and "receive nothing". Mutual care, love and understanding are needed to build a healthy friendship :)
sometimes whiners really make me go crazy, they just dont stop! they make it a tragedy..although it might be so simple and doesnt deserve that drama..
exactly Amal, they make a big fuss out of nothing sometimes. and this gets on my nerves.
Well said Diana. I think we all do this to our selves at some points in our lives, even without realizing it sometimes. The trick is to know how to keep the balance and as you said to learn how and when to say "NO". Of course we all need someone to get back to when we need to vent or talk or just have a wram hug and cry...but the point is, not to be selfish all the time...friendship and relationships is all about giving and taking..it's a 2 ways street...if you're doing all the work all the time then something is wrong here!! and the relationship is not a healthy one for sure!
I had a friend whom I used to feel so sorry for because she was a true sweetheart and she could never say no to anyone. Of course everyone used her so badly, even her own family! Can you believe this??!! Yes, her brother and sisters! and if she needed any help of course she can never relay on them. I couldn’t believe how she would spend all her money on them so generously (although they’re working too) and have nothing left for herself (this is just an example)
sometimes at the last week of the month she never had more than 10 dirhams in her purse!
I though it was way too much, and I always told her I’m not la2eemeh but I won’t do that even with my own family. If you don’t value yourself and create those red lines in your life no one and I really mean no one will value you not even your own family!!
I'm sorry about your friend Mais, I haven't reached this stage yet, thankfully :D
Some people give too much that they end up totally neglecting themselves.
keeping the "balance" is the keyword I believe.
If u can't feel happy....help others to feel happy .
فاقد الشيء لا يعطيه، والا لأ؟
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