Thought of the Day

Love is like a beautiful painting. The more you take care of it the more renewed and beautiful it remains. The more you ignore it, the more dust accumulates on it obscuring its beauty. The more you mistreat it, the more scribbles and damages are formed on it until they destroy it completely.

Diana.

Expecting (5): A Big Change

Along with the tiny new being that's developing inside you, a new feeling - that you experience for the very first time - starts to develop too. That is: motherhood.

An indescribable different kind of love tickles your heart right at the moment you perceive that you are a mother-to-be and brings with it those tears of joy. A feeling that keeps growing with your growing awareness of the existence of this unseen little intruder who came to your life suddenly turning it upside down!

You become a different person. You notice continuous changes in the way you live and the way you look at life... changes in your interests and concerns... in your plans and priorities... in your body, mind and soul... in brief: changes in everything!

Now, there's a human being growing inside you who depends wholly on you to give him all the love and care essential for his growth. You are ready to give him anything that he needs, and just do anything you can to keep him safe and healthy. You follow all the instructions and advices just for him... You are extra cautious and careful in everything you do and eat.. in every move you make.. for his sake. You educate yourself and read all the pregnancy books and articles that come to your hand because you want the best for him. Simply, you are now living for him. *Diana sings you are the reason, and everything I do I do it for you* :D

I look back at the day I went out with my two married friends who spent the whole time talking about their pregnancies, and about their babies, their food and the kinds of diapers they use. And even ended up exchanging diapers, not used ones of course :D. They bored me to death that I decided never to go out with married friends again! Now such subjects became my favorites. It became more interesting and more fun to chat with my friends' mothers than chatting with my friends themselves :D. My God! Look how I've changed!
At the mall, instead of checking the women sections like I always do, my legs take me directly and unconsciously to the baby's section where my heart melts when I see the babies and their cute adorable stuff.

There's a lot of changes and sacrifices.. A lot of concerns and worries and mixed feelings that every pregnant woman goes through. Still, I believe that this exceptional glamorous experience is worth every sacrifice. It is undoubtedly the most exciting and rewarding adventure of a woman's life :)

Nostalgia

When I was a little girl, I had a yellow teddy bear wearing a red overall..and I used to call him Fofo. I don't know when and how did I get it, what I remember is that Fofo was there all the time. At the age of fourteen, as we decided to move to another city, mama gave Fofo - among other things- away without letting me know. When I discovered about it later, it was too late.

Mom thought that I grew too old to care about an old silly teddy bear. My furious reaction surprised her for she had no idea how dear was Fofo to me and how sad losing him made me feel. It's true that I didn't seem to care much about him and I took his presence for granted, but I was really so attached to and so fond of him. The fact that I didn't realize until I lost him.

It's been many years since this happened but I still remember Fofo and miss him.

How many things in our lives, let alone people, do we take for granted and do not appreciate their real value until we lose them? We may not even notice their existence until they're not there anymore.

Have you ever thought that a day will come when you'll miss a pillow, a pen, a notebook, a mirror, a chair, or even a vase?

Has it ever crossed your mind that one day you'll be longing for a certain place, a road, a shop, a cafe, or even a balcony?

Have I ever imagined that someday I was going to miss the taste of our bread, the smell of Mom's coffee, the flavor of a friend's tea, or even the voice of the grocer and the laugh of the hairdresser?

Did I know before that we get attached to "things" and "places" the way we do to humans?

No, not really! It never occured to me that one day I'll look back at these trivial things with nostalgia, and that they'll become an inseparable part of the concept "home", when they were before nothing but normal things and incidents, a part of our daily routine...

Fairouz becomes not only a serence voice that we enjoy listening to in the morning, and in my case at any time of the day. Fairouz's voice becomes equivalent to "home".. it takes you back to familiar places... and brings to mind familiar faces and sounds... laughs and sobs.. beautiful and bitter memories...it arouses a feeling of "belonging" and takes you temporarily back home.

But as you open your eyes, you find yourself in a completely different place... walking down an unfamiliar street in an unfamiliar city... a stranger... surrounded by strangers....

The cold breeze strokes my hair... brings me back to where I really am... and I wonder, why does it have to be this cold here when back home it is still warm? Why can't I see the beauty of this city the way that others see it? Will I ever feel at home in this place? Will I ever miss anything about it if one day I had to leave the way I miss every corner back home? Why does life, when it decides to be generous with us and offer us a valuable thing, deprive us of many others in return? Why can't we have it all at the same time? Man is a greedy creature, isn't he?

The wind gets more chilly... and rain drops start to fall on me... so I decide to walk back home thinking to myself that we must take advantage of every moment we spend with our beloved ones, and in the places that we love, because one day, when we part with them, we'll regret not showing enough care and love to them, just as it happened with me and Fofo.

Be Thankful

Our teacher asked us once: “why do we usually laugh heartily when someone stumbles and falls to the ground?” .
“Because such scenes are funny.” Most of us answered.
“No, this is not the real reason” the teacher replied. “The scene might be more tragic than funny, still we laugh”. “Other people’s misfortunes trigger a spontaneous reaction (which is laughing here) that springs from a deep feeling of being glad and grateful for not being the ones who underwent these misfortunes.”
Makes sense!

When I come to think about it, I realize that no matter how awful bad news (disasters, wars, miseries and the like) make us feel, they still have some positive impact on us. People's misfortunes serve as a reminder to count our blessings and to always be thankful… a reminder that no matter how terrible we might feel and how bad the conditions we live in might be, there are still people out there who feel way much worse and those who are living in appalling conditions that are beyond our ability to endure. So, among all the mixed feelings of melancholy, horror, disappointment, and despair that bad events rouse in us, there is a feeling of satisfaction that somehow makes us feel better.

It's like: الي بشوف مصيبة غيره بتهون عليه مصيبته

How often do we hear remarks like: " and I think that I am fat! Look at that woman!" , "I shouldn't have been complaining, I'm living in heaven compared to him.", "my husband is an angel compared to hers."

It's weird how we only appreciate the blessings that we have only when we see other people's miseries. We try to put an end to our greed and feel contented only when we see other people suffer. Always be thankful people.

Freedom

I was thinking lately about the concept of freedom. What exactly does freedom mean? When do one usually experience the feeling of being "free"? How often does one feel like stretching his arms out, take a deep breath, and break free ?

Freedom is undoubtedly so valuable. Even children are aware of this fact. That's why they keep struggling against the rules and restrictions their parents and society impose on them. Freedom is so precious that it is worth dying for.

How people perceive freedom varies from one person to another because people think of freedom from where they are in life. To some, freedom means the ability to choose or to do whatever they want. When you graduate, beside feeling excited and proud, a feeling of freedom overwhelms you as well. Graduation is a time to feel free, a time to set off..

To a sick person, freedom takes the shape of recovery. To a man in dept, freedom becomes equivalent to money.
And so, we experience many forms of freedom throughout our lives. Giving birth is freedom. Getting rid of life burdens and troubles is freedom. Even divorce can be perceived as freedom. Achieving goals is freedom. Liberating an occupied country is a supreme and glorious form of freedom. The sweet taste of freedom needs hard work and sacrifice.

Many people spend their lives locked up in their own cages. Some of them tried hard and desperately to break free, but they were too weak to succeed. Others lacked the courage to even try. While others never made an effort to free themselves because they're not even aware of the cage, not aware that they spent their lives as prisoners of their own beliefs, complexes and disorders... prisoners of malice, of injustice, of misery and despair.. slaves of lust and greed...of tyranny and repression..
These can only find their freedom in death. Death is the ultimate form of freedom.

Sad Childhood Memories

All what we go through throughout our lives affect us in a way or another and form the shape of our personalities and characters.

Our personalities, however, are primarily shaped in our childhood years. This stage creates the core of our personalities and determines the shape they will take. That's why most personality disorders are usually traced to childhood.

A person of unhappy childhood is more likely to develop a character suffering from certain psychological and emotional disorders. The bad experiences and feelings he had as a child keep haunting him all his life, affecting negatively his personal life, career, and relationships. They lie there.. in the very deep unconsciousness... somewhere in the trash heap of memory.. but they can't be deleted.. can't be undone.

No matter how hard one tries to sweep them away, they always come back.. they pop into his life at the very critical moments.. unexpectedly.. taking advantage of his weakness.. of his being fragile... in an attempt to destroy him.. completely...

An unhappy memory is an enemy with which we are doomed to fight everlastingly.
No matter how old one gets, it still has the ability to overcome him.. to control him once he gives up and stops fighting it.. once he surrenders and let it ruin his spirit little by little and throw him in the abyss of misery and despair.
Bad childhood memories can eat you alive!